AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Okay so I guess it's time for secret santa by now probably, so you guys all get to send spooner something to drink and cry into for the holidays. Scotch is good, single malt, or maybe some nigori sake I don't know do I have to do everything for you why does your mother even let you stay with us still how long until you get a job



SECRET SANTA 20X: ESCAPE FROM THE NORTH POLE

okay so here's how it's going to go down nerds

It's october 24th down under so I'mma give you all 'till november 15 to sign up for this shit. Send me a message before then and I'll carve your name somewhere; I'll need your postal details too, obviously. If that's too much to handle then I don't know go smoke something 420xxx erry day. Then I'll assign your target, and you'll have until D-day to gather intel before taking them down, hard.

DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME DOWN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO BUY AND SHIP SOMETHING. This is not a difficult rule to follow and if you don't I will punch you in the dick so hard that if you're a lady and don't have a dick you'll grow one and then lose it from the fury of my fist. KEEP IN MIND that there are strange and exotic worlds beyond the microcosm borders of your United States and that POSSIBLY you will be lumped with sending something to FRANCE, or PERU, or FAERUN. Again, if you can't deal with that, don't sign up.

Also, if you are new(ish) and nobody knows who you are, then consider waiting for next time because well if nobody knows who you are how are they going to get you something I mean shit tyrone get it together.

There is no specific price range to adhere to. If you think it's too much, it probably is. Feel free to draw something or whatever you weird art kids do these days after lighting one up, but if you are going to then put some effort into it, I really do not want to have to deal with one of you mongoloids sending somebody a notebook page with a bic pen scribbled penis on it.

RECAP TO THE EXTREME

- NOVEMBER 15 IS THE CUT OFF
- YOU MAY HAVE TO SHIP INTERNATIONAL, MAN UP AND FORK OUT THE EXTRA TEN DOLLARS
- DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME DOWN IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THROUGH
- WATCH YOUR BACK
- SHOOT STRAIGHT
- CONSERVE AMMO
- AND NEVER, EVER CUT A DEAL WITH A DRAGON

SIGN ME UP AGAIN
It was so awesome last year. HobT - I mean, princess brothel - sent me a build-your-own-Sonic-Screwdriver/Dildo set and a drawing of an Abra and a letter AND proof he can't write his own name.

It was amazing and if you weren't able to sign up last year then SIGN THE FUCK UP this year or else.


Also - do you need postal details immediately, or just before the 15th?

Send them whenever, but before the 15th yeah that is the cut off point

also with your postal shit I will need a full name unless you want your parcel delivered to xXx_Sephiroth6969_xXx

hotbs aint shit but bitches and tricks

ftfy

ftyf

Question!

Can I sign up despite the fact only one person knows me and wait excitedly for whatever strange, exotic, wtf thing someone were to get me?

...
If so I'm in!

It's better if you are a frequent or well-known poster, because you are being trusted with someone's mailing (usually physical) address. Also, with so few posts, how could any of us know what to get you?

Touche...
But like I said, whatever weird item would be fun.
Ah well~ I'm trying to make it a point to post more...but I find I have more fun reading everyone's dirty little secrets.

For a sec I thought this was a 'buy Spoony presents' thread.

yes that is exactly what this thread is buy me many presents you get more points the more you buy

5 presents and you can cash in for a title
15 presents and you can cash in for a colored name
1 present and you can cash in for spoony's diiiiiiiick

Also, Spooners is so handsome, his locks of hair dance in the wind with exotic arabesque grace, and he smells like wildflowers on a rainy day

How big do these presents have to be? Can I just individually wrap a bunch of tic tacs or something?

Thinking of doing this, but not sure yet.

A bunch of tic tacs would be kind of shit. It doesn't have to be huge or super way cool awesome rad, nobody is expecting THE BEST PRESENT OF THEIR LIFE from strangers on the internet, but at the same time, if you don't want to put more effort in than two dollars for a box of tic tacs, then maybe don't bother in the first place.