AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, but you no longer have the desire to actually play one anymore.

I wish my Wii would hurry and get repaired and sent back from Nintendo already.

You get your Wii back but it's modded so that it can only play terrible family-oriented minigame compilations.

I wish I knew why my avatar's gone goddammit!

It's because you got banned.

I wish guests at my job didn't ask stupid questions.

Granted. Their dumb questions are transformed magically into dumb statements.

I wish people would actually corrupt my wish instead of corrupting the one before mine

They do, and you feel fulfilled and feel like you can take on the entire world. In doing so, you get over-confident and get tortured in Guantanamo Bay for being a terrorist.

I wish that my corrupted wish would be more informative.

Granted, but your competence has been reduced, so you can no longer understand it.

I wish I hadn't stubbed my toe on my door frame.

Granted, but instead it was your other toe on the other foot.

I wish th-HOLY FUCK ITS THAT VIKING AGAIN!

GRANTED.

I wish I had enough cheddar to buy something.

Granted, but in a moment of stupidity you buy a nokia n-gage.

I wish for the power to subconsciously create order and hierarchy where there before was none.

Granted, but you get bored of the peace that ensues and go insane

I wish that ___ would stop bothering me to date their friend

Granted. You just get labelled as a jerk-booty for turning down so many requests from Flatline and their friend.

I wish I had a 360.
Not that I prefer it over the Wii myself, I just want one as well.

Granted, but you can only play Halo on it.

I wish the voice actors in Futurama wouldn't get recast.

Granted but..... but..... I don't wanna corrupt a Futurama wish!

I wish I had some tea.

Granted. You have the best tea of them all, because you left Futurama intact.

I wish for a portal gun.

Granted, but you can never eat cake anymore because it's all a lie.

I wish that I put more care into my drawings.