AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Martin watched a guard pass by the cell several times, he checked the time whenever he passed. "Every 5 minutes." A smile started to appear on his face. It was only when a ruckus caused by another couple of cellmates where he started to really get a plan going. One of prisoners suffered a stroke, the guard opened the cage and dragged him off to someplace.

"Hey Vic." The old man looked towards Martin. "I think I know how to get out of this dump."

Viktor quirked a brow. "What kind of tomfoolery are you planning?" he asked, looking around to make sure the guard wasn't around to overhear.

[~Here's how I imagine the cells, just for fun]

|Viktor||Martin||Garrett|

Without so much as a second thought, Chef Forté opened the door revealing an attractive blonde woman in a uniform similar to his. She was standing at attention and saluting him.

"Lieutenant Simmons reporting for... who is that?" the woman said, pointing and staring at Jade, who was not nearly ready for visitors of her sort.

"He's our host!" responded Chef Forté gesturing the the man that really could do without more gesturing, "Close your jaw, Lieutenant! You are trying to make a good first impression!

"Sir! Yes Sir!" She replied, still not taking her eyes off the now socially awkward property owner and reluctant party host.

Upon seeing Jade's current attire, or lack there of, Not Chef Forté spoke up, "Jade! You have a lady present! This is no time for gallivanting about in your undergarments! Put some pants on at least, my good fellow!"

[~Man sax that's the greatest I don't even.]

[I'm actually basing this plan on Martin and Viktor being in the same cell]

"Here's what I've come up with. At night I want you to lay on the ground and hold your breath. I shake the bars and yell for help, I'll lie and say you had a heart attack. When the guard comes in to check on you I take this" Martin checked to see if the guard was close by. When the coast was clear he grabbed a part of an iron bar and slid it it out of its place. "And knock him out."

"How did you do that with the bar?" Asked Viktor

"Powers." Viktor nodded. Martin slid the pole into place. "Then I switch clothes with him. Then I get a uniform for you and we walk out of here. Before they realize what happened we'll be out of the city."

Viktor scratched his goatee. "By Temporos himself, that is brilliant." He said, enthused but keeping calm so the guards don't know what's up.

"Gck--" Jade seemed to finally unfreeze after the not-chef Forté spoke, then he turned to him, issuing a flustered "I know! I am wearing pants!" He certianly didn't expect a guest like her. If it had been Galiena, he probably would have made pleasant chatter for a moment, then gone off on his way to at least put a shirt on afterwards. Obviously, this had taken him off guard.

Red in the face, he walked past the door, going to the his small room and opened the closet, pulling on a button-up shirt and a pair of slacks. Finally dressed, he walked back to the kitchen nook, sticking his hands in his pockets. "So, um...Simmons, right? Nice to meet you." He held out a hand to shake hers.

Martin and Viktor fine tuned the plan over the course of the day. Martin couldn't have met a better partner, Victor was in the place for so long he knew where a lot of things were.

Martin needed to know something from Viktor and asked: "Do you know where they take a prisoner's belongings? Because I had something very important on me when I was arrested."

[Hi, intro post, nothing really heavy here.]

'Where is that guy?' Josh wondered as he glanced at his watch. It was already 9 o'clock, and the man promised that he'd be there for half 8. Josh had met him only yesterday at the inn, when the stranger approached him. He was wrapped in a dark cloak and his face was wrapped in scarves, and when he spoke his voice had an androgynous quality to it. "Meet me under the clock tower at half 8 tomorrow. I have a deal for you." Originally Josh had planned to refuse, but once the stranger slid a few coins over to him he knew that this could be his only way for funding his trip.

"Well done. You stayed." Josh swung around to see the mysterious person from yesterday behind him. He hadn't even heard him approach. The man walked closer to Josh, his heart beating in his chest. His cloak ruffled, and just as Josh expected to be stabbed a dirty envelope was pressed into his hand. "You have one week".

Josh opened the envelope, and smirked.

"Oh my..." Simmons sighed, holding out her hand to shake Jade's, "Such a gentleman! No need to be so formal, you can just call me 'Damsel'..."

"Lieutenant!" both versions of Forté shouted, and proceeded to bark at her alternatively.

"We are here professionally on a mission!" said one Forté.

"We need to maintain professionalism and not have you enforce the gender role stereotype any more than you already do!" nagged the second.

"Do you understand?" they, or he, asked in unison.

"Yes Sir..." Simmons said, disappointed.

"Good" they both replied, satisfied with his, or their, lecture.

"Now then," Past Forté wondered, "Where is the lovely Galiena?"

"She will be here shortly, if I remember correctly," Future Forté recalled, "The fiery minx can't seem to keep away from us!"

And so the two chronologically challenged space men had themselves a collective chuckle, completely oblivious to all the contradictions and hypocrisies that have successfully created the common story element known as 'irony'.

[GOD daisies CAPTAIN FORTÈ YOU AND YOUR SHENANIGANS I AM DYING]

Garrett awoke from another one of his naps. He heard the sounds of Martin and an older man talking about escaping.
"Oi, Martin. Couldn't help but overhear your plans. Sounds pretty good. I'd be indebted to ya both if ya lemme in."

The guard was close by when the question was asked.

"Whats he mean by plan?" The guard asked Martin.

Martin needed to think of something fast. "The plan is for.....your surprise birthday party! Heheheee...."

"It's not me birthday anytime soon but I'll still come if you'll still throw it." The guard laughed heartily as he continued his patrol. When he was out of hearing range Martin turned red.

"Are you retarded!? If that meathead had some intelligence we would have been screwed!" Martin thought for a sec and cooled down. He sighed heavily. "Fine you can come along, but if your caught don't expect any help."

Even as the two Fortes were musing over Galiena's whereabouts, the woman was walking up to the door with a look of mild irritation on her face. She was tired--actually, no, that was an understatement. She was exhausted. It had taken her two hours to fall asleep the night before, and when she finally managed to close her eyes she could only manage to keep them closed for about four hours. She had woken up in a cold sweat with her heart pounding as if she had just sprinted a mile. She knew it had something to do with a dream she'd been having, but by the time she had sat up in bed the memory was already slipping away. Galiena was not very good at recalling her dreams.

Whatever had woken her up, she had been unable to get back to sleep at all, and now she was feeling it. The lack of sleep made her even crankier than usual--and when she got cranky, heads tended to roll.

Galiena yawned and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, scowling, and walked up to the door of Jade's house. She hesitated a moment when she raised her hand to knock on the door, but finally rapped her knuckles against the wood a few times. She stepped back and waited for someone to answer, grumbling under her breath. How on earth did she get roped into these things?!

"Helloooooo, is anyone in therrrrreeeee?" said the toddler, hitting Hel in the face with a small hammer.

BWANG BWANG BWANG echoed in the temple. The followers of the faith had come for the sermon, yet they were almost deathly silent. They had seen the wanted posters.

BWANG BWANG The hammer was about to come down once more before Hel grabbed the forearm of her assailant. The lad cried out in shock and pain, begging for Hel to let go, which she did. The boy ran off to his parents. Hel shifted herself vertically, only to find stares greeting her. Hel was expecting whispers or some sort of audible communication, but there was nothing. She lurched upward, walking towards the exit. She would have preferred some torches and pitchforks, getting the silent treatment from that many people was just creepy. She grabbed the PANK jacket from the coat rack.(the monks must have put it there) She noticed that the door she broke last night was fixed, seamlessly. Almost as if it wasn't broken in the first place. On the outside of the door, she noticed a slip of paper with her face and some writing on it. Moments like these made her wish she could read.