AWKWARD ZOMBIE

penis stop having an erection

stop it

stop it right now

this is not constructive i am walking home in the cold rain

you're not impressing anyone it's too cold for that

just stop come on it's rather annoying

You have not properly trained your penis. It still has hope that it will be used.

Do a few cock push ups.
That'll keep it iin line.

I can hear my grandpa fart. And his room is across the hallway.

Potato, I know that feel.

I can hear my dad's humongo farts from the kitchen when I'm upstairs in my room.

That was a really rough shit I just took

How rough, you ask?

The toilet is red
I reached down with toilet paper and it immediately soaked through and my hand came up covered in blood

Help what do I do?

Do not wait, call emergency services immediately as the likelihood of internal tearing or rupturing is extremely high.

No I uh
Took a shower

And went to bed

This is how being responsible works right???

((I think it's fine; I identified the area of the wound as being a bit away from the sphincter and it seems to have stopped bleeding))

Do you not have health insurance to get a medical professional to take a look? Infection is a huge problem, and you can't exactly reach up there to clean.

okay no butts should never ever bleed

your rectum is filled with bacteria this is why you do not eat shit it will make you super sick

also your bowel has ecoli in it that is why colon tears are so bad go see a doctor dude you can get really, really sick

Yeah, take everyone's advice and see a doctor or something man. I've had ulcertive colitis since I was 4, so I know a thing or two about anal bleeding. Believe me, you want to take care of this before it becomes something serious.

Huh. Guess I should've gotten the bleeding looked at two years ago when I had health insurance.

I don't have any privacy in this house. My parents just walk into my room whenever they feel like it.

I can't put up a sign because that's considered rude in my household and I can't buy a lock for my room because that's even worse.

I can't even ask them not to because apparently that makes me a "horrible child with something to hide"

I just want to be able to change clothes in my own room without constantly watching the door.

Arghhh...

Barge in on them in return and if they protest they're horrible parents with something to hide.

do it in the middle of them having sex



it'll scar you for essentially your whole life but with luck it will scar them more