AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yeah well, unless I'd be magically cured of my diabetes, this is what would happen

I'm asian. Somewhere out there is another asian I am related to who will insist I stay with them until everything is better.

I'd join the military.

This is what i did when I was homeless. :U

I would try to find a job selling oranges, apples, flowers, or newspapers on the roadside. It's a lot better than asking for change.

I'll be selling myself

Second Plan Z

Train myself in stealth and subtlety as well as close-quarters combat and become a hired assassin. Live the rest of my life in the underworld of society.

Everything that you guys have listed would be plans A through X for me. My plan Z is if EVERYTHING doesn't work.

Plan Z: Buy medieval-period cloak. Acquire a tower. Become a wizard.

The cloak is the most important part
I actually do want one just so I can be DRAMATIC

No but seriously, actual plan:
(Z) (a) Start a ministry out of the back of a van. Preach about what Jesus actually preached about, loving each other, forgiving each other, helping each other, and not getting so caught up in worldly things. I'll give food or shelter to anyone who asks, and if I don't have the means to help them, I'll help them find someone who can. I'll preach like Jesus did, traveling wherever, spreading the word, maybe even take along some followers who might wanna stick with me for a while (though I'm not saying I'm necessarily worthy of being followed, since I'm not a prophet or Messiah or anything). If people are willing, maybe we can establish a system where people who have extra resources (food, cheddar for gas, etc) can give to those who don't, or use me as a method of spreading those goods to those in need.

(Z) (b) Run off into the wilderness. I'd probably have to prepare by reading up on survival skills and whatnot. You know, I have some Boy Scout friends now that I think about it... in an apocalypse scenario I could probably drag them along, but in an I-can't-find-a-job scenario, not so likely. Also, I'd have to make sure the wilderness is healthy enough to have the resources I'd need to survive... a small, poorly funded state park around here might not work, all mesquite trees and not much else.

(Z) (c) Learn parkour. Become an Aladdin-style street rat. Be somewhat conscientious of people's property, but occasional stealing will be necessary, as long as it doesn't harm anyone. That farmer's market wasn't gonna sell all that fruit before it went bad anyway

Saint, it's funny because one of my Plan Z scenarios was also to learn Parkour but I couldn't think of anything "righteous" I could do with it.

Another Plan Z: Become Q (Street Fighter III)

I think finding a genie and using its powers to woo a princess is pretty righteous...
lol maybe not.

I dunno, parkour's just been something I've always wanted to do but have no means of learning, and even if I had the means I probably wouldn't have the coordination. But who knows, I could be a hero someday

Military, natch

Mine is pretty simple (assuming there is no such thing as the ridiculous social security Belgium has):

1. Find shady shop or employer. Offer to work for free, in return for shelter, running water and food.
2. Keep appearance clean and tidy. Each day, go out to search for a job that does pay.
3. Eventually find paying job. Only buy basic necessities and save up for a place of your own.
4. Keep searching better jobs and work your way up in life.

Don't worry Dire
You can stay at my house

Thank you cousin Potato. I promise not to grow mystery chives and bok choy in your front garden.