Quote:
Never tell your password to anyone.
(H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy is now Online.
April-24-12
5:10 PM - Malum: Hello
5:14 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Uh
5:14 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Gonna have to say...
5:14 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: no.
5:14 PM - Malum: Wat
5:14 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Sorry.
5:15 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Better luck next time.
5:15 PM - Malum: I don't even...
5:15 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Have a good day.
5:15 PM - Malum: I'm not a telemarketer!
5:15 PM - Malum: HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT NEW EA GAME
5:15 PM - Malum: I LOVE
5:15 PM - Malum: EA
5:15 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: I'm hanging up now.
5:15 PM - Malum: AND
5:16 PM - Malum: SUPPO- NO PLEASE I NEED THIS JOB
5:16 PM - Malum: IF I DON'T MAKE A SALE THEY'LL FIRE ME
5:16 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Sorry.
5:16 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Don't care
5:16 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: At all.
5:16 PM - Malum: Sir, Sir please.
5:16 PM - Malum: I have a wife and 15 children
5:16 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Shoulda thought about that before you had sex.
5:16 PM - Malum: they all have leukymia and cancer
5:16 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: 15 times.
5:16 PM - Malum: they have double cancer
5:17 PM - Malum: We have 15tuplets
5:17 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Shoulda thought about that before they got cancer
5:17 PM - Malum: And we live in Chernnobyl
5:17 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Shoulda thought about that before moving to cancer city
5:17 PM - Malum: The S.T.A.L.K.E.Rs, they make us work here.
5:17 PM - Malum: Being telemarketers.
5:17 PM - Malum: For rad-away
5:18 PM - Malum: Just, buy a deluxe-waifu pillow from us, please.
5:18 PM - Malum: They'll kill my family If I don't sell one.
5:18 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Hanging up
5:19 PM - Malum: NO PLEASE
5:19 PM - Malum: O-okay. H-have a good day Sir.
5:19 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Wait
5:19 PM - Malum sobs gentlely
5:19 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: You said waifu pillows
5:19 PM - Malum: ...Y-yes we did.
5:19 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy looks around
5:19 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: What
5:19 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: KIND of waifu pillows?
5:20 PM - Malum: We make waifu pillows of all kinds. Customized waifu pillows.
5:20 PM - Malum: They're very affordable.
5:20 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Customized you say?
5:20 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: So I could send you a picture of myself, and put it on a pillow?
5:20 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: ...hypothetically of course
5:21 PM - Malum: Hmm...
5:21 PM - Malum: I talked to my superiors, Anonymously of course.
5:21 PM - Malum: They say yes.
5:21 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Yes.
5:21 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Quite.
5:22 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Now, how much are we talking here?
5:22 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: And how discreetly would it be sent?
5:22 PM - Malum: How many would you like?
5:22 PM - Malum: My wife is an expert pillow folder.
5:22 PM - Malum: We can have them in very very small packages.
5:22 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Well, I'm qu-I mean my friend is quite fond of orgies.
5:22 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: So... at least ten.
5:22 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Cycle them out if nothing else.
5:22 PM - Malum: 10?
5:23 PM - Malum: We have a buy 10 get another 10 half off deal.
5:23 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: I just said ten, didn't I?
5:23 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Hmm...
5:23 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: I'd need to know how much ten would cost.
5:24 PM - Malum: 10 will be around... $150
5:24 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Yes yes, that's nothing, but how much is it really?
5:24 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Is the shipment ten easy payments of my firstborn child?
5:25 PM - Malum: International shipping is free if you buy over 5 pillows.
5:25 PM - Malum: So you're good.
5:25 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: So 20 pillows would be 225?
5:25 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: I assume this is USD here.
5:26 PM - Malum: Yes, $225. The tax is... avoidable.
5:26 PM - Malum: If we use
5:26 PM - Malum: Certain Russian standards.
5:26 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Quite.
5:26 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: And tell me, when would I-My friend get these pillows?
5:27 PM - Malum: 3 weeks?
5:27 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Hm.
5:27 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: How much extra would I have to pay to get it to me sooner?
5:28 PM - Malum: $40 for all the pillows.
5:28 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: And how much sooner would I get them
5:28 PM - Malum: 5 days.
5:29 PM - Malum: Give or take a day or two.
5:29 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: What would I have to pay to get them to me tommorow?
5:29 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Er
5:29 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: To my friend
5:29 PM - Malum: Of course, your friend.
5:29 PM - Malum: $60
5:29 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Yes.
5:29 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Alright, this sounds good.
5:30 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy: Let me call you back when I get the photo.
5:30 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy hangs up
5:30 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy walks off
5:30 PM - Malum: Wait we're an unlisted number how is he gonna call us ba- oh goddammit.
5:30 PM - (H-C) Friendly Sandvich Heavy whistles a tune
5:30 PM - Malum: NO PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME NIKOLAI
5:31 PM - Malum: OH GOD MY KNEECAPS
5:31 PM - Malum: LINDA, NOOOOOOO!
5:31 PM - Malum: OH GOD
5:31 PM - Malum: NO PLEASE
5:31 PM - Malum: NOT THE MUTANTS
5:31 PM - Malum: DON'T FEED MY KIDS TO THE MUTANTS
5:31 PM - Malum: NO, DON'T SHOOT ME, PLEAAaghh-gargle-
Such is life in the Zone.