AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I always seem to forget that snakes have sexual organs and anuses and things other animals do. Just think of it as a tail with a head.

our safe word is "please stop it's bleeding"

I kind of have an idea but the thought terrifies me.

Yeah so do I, I really don't want to think about it.

as always, a quality thread

Is there ever any doubt.

I tend to think of them of heads with a tail.


and ho-ly sheettt

That was the fattest, most painful dump I have ever taken. I'm surprised it even made it down the drain.

I hate it when really big shits force themselves out quickly.

I had been holding it in all day so it was going
"letmeout! letmeout!"
and then it came out as fast as it could. I was trying so hard to control it, but this shit could not be tamed.

As I've said previously, I don't use school restrooms. And when I drink coffee one of two things happens, I either have to pee really bad or take a massive dump.

On dump days finally relieving myself is like the world's greatest thing.

Okay, so horrid shit update.

It didn't go down so well. I guess I must have walked out and didn't look. I got back home this evening and there was a toilet full of shit and piss. My stupid fucking self decided to flush and that shit spilled over. It didn't spill a whole lot over before I stopped it, but the plumbing in this PoS house sucks dick, and water started dripping into the kitchen, which it has been known to do.

Also, while wiping the shit water off the floor of the bathroom I noticed that the wall behind some tiles near the ground had rotted away due to overflows over the last 22 years that they have lived here. And I'm positive there is a horrible shit/mold hyrbeid growing all in the walls because nobody fixes shit around here if you hadn't gathered by water ending up downstairs in the kitchen.

But to make matters worst, my parents came home from their Spring Break trip the minute the water spilled into the kitchen. Fuck. Why did I have to flush that toilet?

EDIT: Oh, and I desperately need to piss, but my bathroom is out of order now, and my dad just funked up the downstairs one.

Why are you doing this to me, god?

D: That's awful, seriously awful.

Late reply but I'm pretty sure snakes and other reptiles have cloacas, like birds. No external genitalia.

Don't quote me, because I'm not 100% certain. I do have a leopard gecko, and I know how to sex them. Male geckos have a vaguely arrow-shaped line of enlarged pores between their back legs, called a 'vent'. My female gecko doesn't have a vent. I think snakes have something similar.