AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Oh shit, son.
I need to stock up on popcorn.

oh gods, here we go again

THE RETURN
OF THE COMIC

Holy shit. I must prepare. I have bunkers to build.

So, I can't write captions for shit and I don't have any alcohol.



I don't think Chris knows what belabor means.

Also, I didn't know that UVA was full of drill monsters who are "friends" with underage fireflies. No I don't know why Chris thought that was a good idea.



Wild, you can't move your head because you've been tied to Punchy for some reason. Please sit normally.

Also, Reginald is the name Chris would give his hypothetical son.



I'm going to call you Mrs. Jackass because I don't want to bother spelling your name.

I think the quickest way to explain dating education is that Chris wants the government to give him a free girlfriend. Everything else is fluff.



What the hell? What kind of a messed up world is this? Who the hell names their kid Geraldine?

Also, meet Ivy and her OC. She's supposed to be a Flaafy because Chris can't tell normal animals from Pokemon.



Gee, there's that name again. And on a shiny Sneasel too. I bet that guy isn't a self-insert in any waSNERGEN FLERGEN.

SNERGEN FLERGEN



I forgot to mention that this book is the required reading material for the course.



Chris got a copy of it from Rocky. Here's the video where he discussed it.



Woah what?



God is the best troll. Don't you all agree?



So Ivy, what did we learn about going to class after dropping acid?

NEXT TIME, WILL THEY COMPLETE THEIR ESSAYS IN TIME? WHO IS REGINALD? WILL IVY EVER BE SOBER? DOES CHRIS REALIZE THAT HE'S PROBABLY NOT QUALIFIED TO DESIGN A COURSE ON DATING?

-cough cough- Those aren't the right colors for a shiny....just saying.

Also this dating ed makes me want to strangle myself.

Heh, "probably not qualified".

Just like Chris to ruin one of the most awesome Pokemon in the series by forcing it to attend a class on dating. How exactly is a Sneasel supposed to use an IM client when its hands are bodaciously just two massive claws?

50 word essay? Would that even be an essay?

Also, I like when it looks like Ivy was shot through the head.

Whoops. Forgot that only the feather in his head was taken from the shiny one.

Found like a DOOM parody with Chris shooting that cactus he thought was a pickle. There are also some trolls and boners (lawl) in it. I'd link it but it has teh pronz0rs in it and in fact is in the Rule 34 site.

I just thought it was funny.

I lost at that. Maybe when I'm done with my Totally Radical sig quote form KH, I can use that.

SNARGEN FLERGEN

So, when we last left off Ivy was high as fuck and they were being paired off by the government.



Punchy, Angelica isn't even in the class with you. Why on earth are you even here?

...You're just here for free sex aren't you?

And for some reason the Sneasel wants to bang the not-Flaafy, but alas he cannot, as he has to talk to some random chick instead.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened.



No I don't know why Chris decided to copy South Park but I guess the Sneasel is a pedophile now because the government said so.



Crap I have to explain how CWCville's currency works.

There are three coins, C-Quarters, W-Quarters, and C-Quarters. A W-Quarter is worth 10 C-Quarters and a C-Quarter is worth 10 W-Quarters.

If you want to know why that is, it's because Chris's ego is more important than logic.



Wait, if they're just going to IM each other then why do they even need to be in the building? And why is the Sneasel wearing pants? Is it because his genetalia aren't retractable?

And here Chris goes with love triangles again. You all know what's going to happen now.



This is a fairly accurate summary of Chris's internet relationships.

And Reginald, that's not how you cockblock.



Thankfully, we don't need to endure much of this because Chris is too lazy to textwall for once.



Was that...was that supposed to be an innuendo? Pumps and Dig Dug?



Punchy, it's very clear that Reginald shrank to two feet tall and is trying to get your attention.

DON'T JUST ABANDON HIM FOR MCDONALDS!



Wild, you do realize that Chris stole Simonla from someone else, right?

And I don't mean like how he stole every other character from somewhere.

I mean he stole her from someone who gives a fuck.



WILD ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

I should mention that this page was deemed the most horrific page in Sonichu by Simonchu's creator.



Clearly Simonla stole some of Ivy's acid.



Chris, if you couldn't think of anything else to draw for two pages you shouldn't have TL;DR'd eight pages ago.

And NOBODY IS HELPING REGINALD WITH HIS SHRINKING PROBLEM!



Chris once walked half a mile up a gentle slope. By the end he was gasping for air. He's really out of shape.

Also that motorcycle is a Transformer, just so you know.



And of course, after resolving his shrinking problem (No thanks to the republican recolor), Reginald falls back on the old CWC standard of moping about and waiting for a female to talk to him.



What makes this disturbing is that Chris talks to his church counselor about his inability to get a girlfriend sometimes.

I'm worried that this is how those conversations go in his head.



I forgot to mention that Chris thinks Wild and Simonla make sense as a couple because their types are opposite, on the grounds that opposites attract.

This is after the page where he claimed that they made sense as a couple because they had things in common.

I'm certain it made sense to Chris at the time.



Ivy, that was a hallucination. God and Jesus did not appear to you and pair you off with the author self-insert.

Are you still high?



OH GOD SHE'S GOING TO JUMP

SOMEONE GET HER DOWN FROM THERE



If you wondering why Bacon talk like this, it because real Sarah Jackson had sis name Bacon who high-functioning autistic.

This how Chris think autistic who not him talk. Still sound slightly more coherent.

So, what do you all think was on that test? BECAUSE HERE IT IS.



I'll take the test for you Chris.

1.C
2.C
3.B
4.B
5.A, daisies those JERKS and BITCHES
6.C followed by B
7.C because that's all that matters
8. A as she clearly made a mistake
9. C assuming that skill is making terrible comics

10.

1. Construct sign announcing your status as a single
2. Go to a public place, like Target
3. Abuse the free refills and camp out near the entrance.
4. Play with blocks in the store aisles.
5. Look at all the girls longingly.
6. Pout when they ignore you
7. When management calls the cops, run.
8. When you slip on the spaghetti that fell out of you pockets, allowing the cops to catch you, scream.
9. When your parents bail you out and the court decides that you aren't guilty, make a comic vilifying the officer who arrested you.
10. Repeat until it either works or gets you arrested again.

Oh look I guess that's it.

After reading these pages I have but one thing to repeat saying for 10 minutes.



God that was one of the more painful to read issues.

There's an entire genre of spaghetti stories out there.

The Ivy Saga ended when Chris began to suspect that Ivy was a troll. Due to shenannigans involving Joshua Martinez, a PSP, and a bad check, the police had done a background check on Ivy and Chris found evidence that Ivy was lying about her backstory(her father was a cop and his name didn't show up in a search). Ivy broke up with Chris around the same time, claiming that he'd betrayed her trust or something like that. A week later, Chris made an edit on ED suggesting that he'd figured out that Ivy was fake, only to later find out that Ivy "hung herself because she couldn't speak to Chris" while attempting to infiltrate a troll chatroom.

He uploaded this music video as a tribute.