AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, but it's a billion dollars worth of manure

I wish I had a burrito right now

One barf burrito with with horse crap sauce coming right up.

I wish I could sing like Steve Perry.

Alright, but you got no mouth.

I wish for the ability of flight.

You now have the wonderous ability to fly into the ground! Excellent ability Sherlock, will that be cremation or burying?

I wish hed choose cremation, I love setting things on fire ^w^

The sun goes into a premature supernova, enveloping Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars. Once it reaches Jupiter the volatile gases compressed within the gas giant's core react to the ludicrous heat of the sun and results in what scientists refer to as a MAXIMUM CLUSTERFUCK. The entire solar system is atomized due to the heat.

I wish I had some funyuns.

They're stale and moldy.

I wish I had a tail.

It's just the box.

I wish for another wish.

You have annother wish, but you can only wish for death.

I wish Rick Santorum murder-suicides Mitt Romney.

Wish granted. Newt Gingrich becomes the republican candidate and wins, and turns the Moon into the Death Star and blows up everything.

I wish that I didn't have to wear glasses.

You don't because you go blind

I wish I wasn't so lonely

Granted, you get a pet rock to accompany you.

I wish I could get some sleep.

Granted. You are now in a coma.

I wish the weekend would just hurry up and get here already.

You sleep FOREVER


I wish Sailor Moon answered my texts :I

She does but only to tell you that she's breaking up with you

I wish more people followed me on tumblr

granted, but they are only there to point and laugh at what a terrible person you are.

I wish I was a lich.