AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, an anime company notices you and makes 2 series based on you.


I wish my epeen was bigger.

Granted but the strings always break whenever you play.

I wish I could stop biting my nails.

Granted. But your teeth now grow uncontrolably because they are not being worn down.

I wish my lip didn't taste weird.

Granted. It's delicious, and you eat it. Whoops.

I wish there weren't so many new idiots around with numbers in their names.

Granted, but your lib becomes fat.
I wish I had magic.

Granted. Now people are allowed to have duplicate names and nobody can tell who anyone is.



Granted. Your magic turns you into a terrorist and George W. Bush kills you with nukes.

I wish people would post one at a time.

Granted, Alice dies.

OH WAIT.

I wish I had a lollipop.

Granted, but you choke on it and die with me!
I wish SBKT would die! Oh wait!

Granted, but when he dies you come back to life and he haunts you forever.

I wish I had an Ipod Touch!!!!!

Granted, but Alice sticks it in her ugly face thinking it's cake.

I wish I'd stop seeing stupid people.

Granted, but you are cursed with a mirror always being in front of you, so you haven't really stopped seeing stupid people.

jk, SBKT

I wish people didn't swear.

Granted. But everyone speaks gibberish now.

I wish Halo the movie would come out.

Granted, but your in it.
I wish I was healed.

Granted, but you're worse off in every other aspect.

I wish the drama would stop.

Granted. But your life's so boring now, so you kill yourself.

I wish my headphones worked better.