AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted. You spend the rest of your life doing nothing.

I wish I could lift things by pointing at them.
I GOT THE PAGE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

Granted. "They" hire you to lift all the things that are pointing at them.


I wish I was 18 years old.

Granted. You are now legal and many people wish to screw you, garnering you several stalkers.

I wish to drink pina coladas and get caught in the rain.

Granted, but you're into yoga and you don't have half a brain.

I wish photobucket worked for me again.

Granted, you get rainwater in your pina coladas.

I wish I could taste things properly.

Granted, but now everyone can edit everyone's pictures.


I wish for my keyboard to be fully working.

Granted. But now it's on the moon.


I wish I wouldn't get so sweaty.

Granted, now your skin is really oily instead.

I wish I didn't gain weight so easily over the summer.

Granted, you gein weight easily on every other season.

I wish to have an infinite folder of porn.

Granted. It's grannies gone wild.


I wish my family had better taste in movies.

Granted, so they start watching porn instead.

I wish I didn't have so many emails to go through.

Granted, but you never get any important e-mails.

I wish it could be Comic con already

Granted, it's that convention everyone makes fun of because of their commercial.

I wish my life was XTREMEEE

Granted. But you spend your vacation at Mexico and come back home with Swine Flue and AIDS.

I wish my scanner dident have so many problems.

Granted it now only has one problem, it doesnt work.

I wish that the news was more exciting