AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Well, that's not how it's supposed to be. Since it's pretty hard to screw up masturbating, I think you probably lack something sex related somewhere. If I had to guess, I'd say underdeveloped sexual center in the brain or something, since that would explain disinterest as well.

it doesn't really matter if you don't understand it. it's probably something you won't understand, even if you try or learn or anything. just accept.

dude is asexual. just let him be asexual, don't try and prove him wrong.

Asexuality is a legitimate sexuality. It doesn't make sense evolutionarily, but neither does homosexuality. I don't understand why some people can't imagine it existing, because there are plenty of asexual people who have relationships and just don't have sex, or have sex once and just aren't interested in it with a partner of any sex or gender.

That being said, there are some people who hide behind asexuality because they refuse to accept that they don't have a partner and basically lie to protect their ego. I used to know this one really terrible girl who was just a terror to be around. She was arrogant and cruel and no one could stand to be around her, except my one friend who felt obligated to be there for her because they had known each other for a long time. When the girl realized that no one would be with her because she was crazy, she started telling everyone that she was asexual and suddenly became "religious," citing god as the reason why she didn't date anyone. It was a load of bull because she extremely clearly had a lesbian crush on my friend. She would get jealous of my friend and her girlfriend, and my friend used to tell me how uncomfortable it made her because the girl would hang all over her and stuff. The girl would never admit that she was attracted to anyone because she was an booty and liked the sense of superiority that she gained from being 'pure.' She wasn't actually asexual, but just putting the label on.

"Oh, I've never gotten a date or anything... but that's okay because I'm asexual anyway so it's by my choice and not that I just haven't met anyone who asked me out." In order to place power over the situation back in their own hands, some people just lie and say they're asexual. Of course that doesn't mean that there aren't people who are legitimately asexual and just are born not feeling physical attraction to others. It happens.

Asexualily generally isn't a term used to define someone's sexuality. It's more of a descriptor of one's sex drive (I.E. their innate interest in sex). Meaning that a straight individual could be asexual, a gay individual could be sexual, etc.

Also, Asexuality is a VERY broad term (much like how sexual individuals have different views and needs when it comes to sex). It encompasses people that don't enjoy sex (usually psychologically not physically) and thus willingly abstain from it (these people usually don't have a sex drive, though it depends on the situation), people who enjoy sex but don't have any real pressing need for it, people who don't really care about sex and don't feel the need to have it, and many more. Basically, the only thing that separates sexuals from asexuals is that asexuals don't have an intrinsic sex drive that needs/desires sex to be satisfied. Some can still enjoy a healthy relationship that involves sex (others may not be able to tolerate sex at all, again, it depends), but it's not something they specifically need out of a relationship. They could be just as pop flyin' in a sexless relationship (provided they have other opportunities for bonding).



Again, don't think of asexuals as an orientation, because if you do, then you're treating it as something equivalent to someone's sexuality, which deals with who they are attracted to, not how high their sex drive is.

And I doubt the vast majority of asexuals are in denial. I'm sure princess brothel is joking (or I really hope so at least), but it's definitely possible for someone to not care about sex and not be repressing themselves at the same time. Sex can be non-essential to some people, just as chocolate, tv, video games, etc. can be non-essential to another individual. Whatever the reason for it, there's no "push" to copulate with another individual.



Asexuals can still feel attraction to people, however, they don't "instinctively" feel sexual desires for those people. Basically, they're in it for the non-sexual side of the relationship, regardless of whether they find sex enjoyable or not.

I won't claim to know the cause of asexuality, but I don't think anyone is actively repressing themselves to be asexual (besides maybe the people that need to make themselves into super special snowflakes). Repression is a nasty thing in society, and as most people can attest, it can really screw up a person to try to repress who they are. I know plenty of asexual individuals, and I don't think any of them are forcing themselves to be celibate/abstinent. Hell, two of my asexual friends have a more active sex life than me (lol virgin) and a bunch of my other friends (mostly people who are actively abstaining/between relationships/etc.). There's no repression going on there.

I actually have a harder time wrapping my mind around why people find sex essential/needed in relationships. After years of discussing it I've come to the rather unsatisfying conclusion that "it just is" and to go with it.

Maybe for you guys who don't understand asexuality, you might need to say the same thing to yourselves. :/

I think princess brothel was talking about people who claim to be asexual, not people who force themselves to be asexual. The difference is that these people would have sex if they could, but for some reason can't, and then out of shame say they're asexual when someone asks about it.

Thinking maybe I should back out of the conversation, given Bacon is right, and Karnaks last post did answer probably my biggest questions.

Though I'd say that it's likely that some asexuals are just sort of trying to defend their ego- though if that a large or tiny percentage of them, I wouldn't know.

I used to wonder if I was asexual, now I reckon I'm just a selective prude and kind of an asshole.

Not to minimod, but I think this topic has gotten a little out of hand.

Don't know if you wanted an answer for this, but I figured I might as well put one anyway.

I personally find intimacy, which I consider is essentially sexually stimulating actions, (making out, feeling up, sex, etc etc) to be vital to a relationship, because without it, it seems like a glorified friendship. Without it it just seems like there's no spark, no fire, no... passion, I suppose is the word for it.

Honestly, a relationship without that passion just seems boring, and is more akin to being close friends, and nothing more.

I kind of feel the same way, without sexuality, I don't see the appeal of a relationship over friendship. Then again, I'm not a romantic person. At all.

If your post begins this way, delete it and close the tab.

I always followed a personal guideline that your partner should be not just your lover but your best friend. Knowing who they are and what they're like and just enjoying being around them without doing anything sexual is an important part of a relationship, to me at least. But I agree, no sexual interaction at all can certainly lead to frustration and problems, that is given you're suppressing your desire. If you don't actually want any, that's totally fine, as long as your partner respects that.

I can't really speak about the asexual thing but I do have a friend who absolutely freaks out if anyone tries to do anything sexual with her. She's been with the same guy for over a year and a half and she gets freaked out even if he touches her hips. He understands, but I told her sex, or at least sexual interaction, is eventually going to happen and she needs to at least feel a bit comfortable with letting her boyfriend touch her because I feel like it's hurting her otherwise. I think she said it's more of a personal fear since one of her mom's boyfriends once sexually abused her younger sister, although she hasn't been abused herself at all.

i think relationships should be primarily about love and support for each other

intimacy is great and i'd never be in a relationship with an asexual simply because i have a sex drive and an asexual person couldn't fulfill all my needs. but if you're getting in a relationship with someone just because they're willing to have sex with you then prepare to be disappointed once you actually have to deal with them as a person.

i guess its true that sometimes people underestimate the emotional connection that sex gives non-asexuals. it's not just a matter of getting a boner and sticking it inside someone because it feels good, showing someone you love your naked body and allowing them to get close to you and have control over your pleasure actually involves a lot of trust and love

sometimes people treat sex like the former and think they can get away with just fucking a friend and not having any kind of attachment. sometimes people overestimate the value of the latter and base a relationship entirely on sex

but either way getting to know and love a person should come way before anything sexual

oh hey lithium i totally agree with you. i was best friends with my current boyfriend for almost two years before we started dating and our relationship is awesome

I respectfully decline your advice.

That's great but you don't have much of a choice.