AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The pleasure of sex isn't restricted to just the sexual part.

Being in a sexual relationship with another human being is a round the clock experience that can make you feel good any given hour of the day.

Plus yeah genital sex usually lasts about that long if you only do it once and then you're done, but there's foreplay and messing around during, before, and after, that can last for hours.

Also yeah if you mean that making sex out to be way more important than it actually is is unhealthy then you're right. Too much of a good thing is usually not for the best. Everything has a balance., especially something like sex.

No, but if someone isn't satisfied in a relationship (whether it's sex, emotional support, etc.) they have an obligation to either try to help fix the relationship in some way, or break off the relationship. They shouldn't, however, try to get that satisfaction from a similar relationship with another individual, especially behind the other person's back or without their consent.

And worse, they shouldn't use that as an excuse for their actions. If a man/woman isn't getting enough sex from their spouse, it's not the spouse's fault that the man/woman went to someone else for sex. They should have resolved the matter in some other way, not tried to solve the solution while keeping the relationship the same.

In a way, it's selfish. The person is trying to satisfy themselves without compromising their marriage/relationship because that's precious enough to not give up on. However, it's not for the best interest of the spouse or anyone else.

I hope you don't think I just said it's alright for people to cheat or anything

I believe people should be upfront about what they want out of a relationship from the get go. If one member of the relationship wants there to be sex somewhere down the road, and the other does not want any sex ever, then those people should probably not be in a relationship unless they're willing to compromise that entire, rather important aspect of the relationship.

sex is not the most important thing, but it's important.

No, I wasn't saying that you supported cheating. Just that the fact that many individuals need some amount of sex in a relationship doesn't excuse them for cheating when those needs are unfulfilled.

Sex is important (though it's importance varies between individuals) but it should never be important enough to cheat. If it's that important to someone, to the point where they'd consider cheating, they need to evaluate whether they want their sex drive fulfilled (and thus need to break/change their relationship to make that happen) or if they value their relationship more (and thus need to try to make it work).

Sex should be a benefit of the relationship, and not something for which people get into relationships. Not all romantic relationships need sex. I just wish popular culture would stop telling people on the contrary.

In other news, the worst thing ever for men is morning wood and a full bladder.

Really? I would have said multiple hernias. I guess a hard dick while you're trying to piss would be pretty terrible though.

The one thing that makes it less difficult for me is that I curve to the left, so when that happens I can usually aim downwards more easily than others.

Winter is constantly shrinking my bladder and giving me boners.

Jack Frost, get off my dick.

I'd tend to agree with Vaxxy, it's not as if it's silly for someone to eventually want sex in a meaningful long term relationship. It may not be a need, but most people do have a sex-drive, and, well, I think not having sex for the sake of disavowing our societies priorities, may make that kind of relationship difficult.

Also, I feel the need to point out having sex is not like reading a book. I may be an (arguably) adult (inarguable) virgin, I'm not the best person to make this claim, but I may an expert in the field of internet pornography, so I figure I do have some understanding of what sex is. At first I thought it was being mentioned as a metaphor- in fact I think I saw this same analogy being used a long time ago in this same thread, but i'm worried that you may not understand that the pleasure one gets from a good book is too different altogether from the pleasures of sex, so they probably shouldn't be compared. I have yet to run this experiment, but I don't think finishing my new novel, for example, will do anything to help with a boner. Just making sure we're all on the same page there.

sex is pretty okay

I kind of got a vibe from some people here, and I might just be interpreting this wrong but:

Apparently it's okay to be asexual, transsexual, homosexual, otherkin, questioning, but when people are open about their straight sexuality and just want to get some poon, that's somehow wrong? I understand if you're personally not in favour of casual sex, but some people are and you have absolutely no right to condemn that. It's of course different for minors.

Some, no, most people have sexual needs. Repressing those needs isn't healthy. Honestly, I think relationships between sexual and asexual people have small chances of working out in the long term, unless the couple can find a way to satisfy the sexual's needs that they're both pop flyin' with.

Sexuality is a normal aspect of a relationship, and if you want one without it that's fine. But you should talk about this sort of thing in advance that both parties know what they're getting into.

I think the point most people are getting at is that people need to be responsible when they are fulfilling their sexual desires, and this goes for everyone of any sexual preference, not just straight individuals. Unlike other needs (or, in some cases, addictions), the object(s) that satisfy that desire are actual human beings.

Harry Potter isn't going to be heartbroken when it finds out you've been reading LOTR behind its back. You're not hurting anyone by craving a burrito when you usually eat a sandwich.

This is what makes the issue more complicated, because while sex can be important to you, a relationship involves more than just you. You can talk about how important sex is, but it should never get to the realm of cheating. Regardless of whether or not you're being satisfied by your relationship with an individual, that does not give you the right to take the situation into your own hands and cheat on them behind their back.

Also, for the most part, transsexual, homosexual, otherkin, and questioning individuals don't discuss sex drives on here or a need for sex (but it doesn't mean they don't have one. Maybe it's just not pertinent to conversation, even in the TMI thread? Asexuals, of course are the exception.). Add to this that there isn't much reported cheating within these groups (usually it's closeted individuals trying to satisfy their repressed sexuality, not an out gay man cheating on his partner, I'm sure cheating happens to some degree (after all, these individuals aren't automatically morally superior just because they're not straight), but it's not something associated with these groups as a rampant "problem"), and you see why the stigma against straight individuals involved in these incidents exists (even if it's unfair). If anyone is involved in this situation, regardless of sexuality, it's equally wrong.

So while there's nothing wrong with having a sex drive and a need to satisfy it, it's just as normal and acceptable as not having a sex drive at all. However, there are other important factors that need to be considered.

Also, maybe I'm a bit crazy, but I'm not too hot on the idea that asexuals need to stick together when it comes to relationships. I know many relationships between asexual and sexual (?) individuals that have worked out because of compromise between both individuals. I don't think that will happen all the time, but I think relying on keeping the two groups separate in relationships solely over sex drive is a bit... odd. Though I don't think I'm explaining it well. :/

I'm certainly not saying asexuals and sexuals shouldn't have relationships, I just want to give a heads-up that there will be issues that they need to resolve. Issues that I think are far from insurmountable if you have a healthy relationship to start with.

I think people worry about sex so much because of the build up to it - will it hurt, will it be romantic, will i just be used in the relationship for it, will i look good naked, etc. I'm a virgin (obviously i'm too young), but I imagine once it's happened nobody's first time is how they imagined, and afterwards as you do it more often it just becomes more normal/accepted.

got depressed and cut my hair off last night

feels bad man