AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted. You are now most talented at making an booty out of yourself in public places.

I wish I could Falcon Pawwnch! people.

Granted, you Falcon Pawwnch yourself.

I WISH MY MOUSE WASN'T A PIECE OF SHIT.

Granted. Now it is a peice of crap.

I wish mosquitos would stop biting me.

Granted but now giant man eating dragons start biting you. MEOW!

I wish I could do the timewarp again!

Granted. You timewarp into the mouth of a t-rex.


I wish I was more creative.

Granted. You become a writer on a popular video game trademark.
You spend 16 hours a day writing good plots wich noone knows or cares who wrote. Whatsmore, it's a singleplayer game so everyone just pirates it. That's how it is working for a game trademark: noone cares about you and your work is brutally and ilegally savaged.


I wish the sims 2 wouldn't have made the days fucking long I was pop flyin' with the 1s-1h ratio and I dont want my sims to turn into elders in 29 days.

Granted. Instead of turning into Elders, they die.

On the subject of the Sims, I wish my Body Shop worked.

Granted. They all go work out non-stop and die from over-exertion.

I wish when I woke up I wouldn't be so tired.

Granted. You are so energetic, people quickly begin to suspect you are on E. You are taken into custody.

I wish I didn't have a stomachache.

Granted. Now you have a migrane.


I wish for world peace!

Granted. The world is now fucking boring.

I wish I weren't sick.

Granted. But you get sick again in 5 minutes.

I wish I had driver's licence.

Granted. You now have the driving skills of a decrepit old person.

I wish that 358/2 days came out soon, goddammit.

Granted. It sucks.


I wish I had some chocolate.

Granted, it turns into a sticky mess in your pocket, and people think you shit yourself.

I wish I had the 'Mystic Eyes of Death Perception'