AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Kids are so dumb, you were a kid once, which means you used to be dumb.
Whether or not you grew out of that remains to be seen.
But for now, what stupid things did you do as a kid? Do you remember any of your dumb kid logic?
Please share.

When I was little my mom told me that my grandma came from a super rich family

And i was like "Did they have, like, $100?" because that was like the biggest number I knew at the time

And mom was all "Yes David they had $100"

I always thought there were monsters in my closet when I lived in a particular house. So, I once waited in my closet at night until a monster came so I could beat it up. I fell asleep in said closet and the next morning my mom couldn't find me and freaked out. It was hilarious.

My uncle used to call my cousin "Princess" so I thought she was secretly Princess Diana or something. She got married, and soon after, Princess Diana was killed in that accident.

I told everyone that my cousin was Princess Diana and I was never going to see her again, but at least I got to see her get married.

God I have a ton of these...

One time... One time I was walking up to my cousin,[flashback] who was hitting a fountain of water with an aluminium baseball bat, and He swung back and NAILED me in the forehead with a metal baseball bat. And so began my first memory....[/flashback]

When I was like seven I hid in the little space between the couch in the living room and the wall, concealed by curtains. I stayed there for a really long time--I didn't even come out when I heard my parents looking for me. When I finally did come out mom was crying because she thought I'd ran away and dad was almost getting ready to call the police.

...yeah I never hid from them again.

Oh man, that reminds me of high school.

We were playing hide and seek because we were bored and had nothing to do (we were preparing a thanksgiving dinner, but we had an hour or so with nothing to do). The halls were U shaped, and I ended up getting cornered in the bottom of the U by 2 of the 5 people that were it.

So I ended up squeezing myself into a wardrobe there, way too small for anyone to suspect I was in it. I could see through the little slot, and both of the guys couldn't find me. they kept looking, and eventually all 5 of the people that were it were looking for me around that area, trying to see if I snuck into a classroom.

Took half an hour, but they gave up and told me to come out. I was stuck, having slid down further into the wardrobe, with my arms stuck at my sides.

Took 3 of them to pull me out.

Best hide and seek ever.

I used to think I was a quarter black because my grandpa re-married an african-american woman and I didn't exactly understand the concept of "step-family".

While I was watching cartoons as a kid, this commercial for a community college would always come on. They would list off all the degree programs they offered, and Accounting would always be the first one listed since it started with an A. Whenever my dad was there I would point at the TV and say "Accounting! I wanna do that one!" because I never read any of the other ones.

I had such high aspirations

I actually wanted to be a veterinarian, or a zoologist, or anything that had to do with animals because of Crocodile Hunter and other Animal Planet shows

My brother and I once thought Casper was real (it had just come out) and were convinced he was hiding in the downstairs toilet. So we sat in there for an hour before the thought even occurred that maybe this was really stupid.

We also thought that when you traded Pokemon using the Link Cable they were actually going through it and if you cut the cable as it transferred you'd get a Pokemon. We came to our senses before actually doing it.

As a kid, my favorite movie was Batteries not Included.

Everytime I heard the TV say that on comercials when I was in another room, I'd come running thinking the movie was going to come on again.

For as much as I watched that movie, we never got it on VHS... :/

The kids in this house are always ruining/breaking things in the house.

When I was little I would sleep on my back because I was scared if I turned one way a crawfish would pinch me and if i turned the other a crab would pinch me.

Also I would freak out if a mosquito buzzed around my head at night and run screaming into my parents' room insisting that bees were trying to get honey out of my ears

I also always pretended to be a dog and would get upset that God didn't make me a dog/cat/other animal haha. I got teased a lot because I would pretend to be animals at school. Punched a few kids for that. Good times.

When I had cock fighting society silver, the first time I played it I couldn't figure out how to move past the crime scene where you name your nemesis. The concept of going back in the direction I had come from just didn't occur to me.

Wait
your name's David ?
What a shocking revelation