AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted

I wish every wish corruption weren't "Granted but it's worse"

Granted, you get exactly what you asked for.
And then something totally unexpected or unrelated happens that is horrible.


I wish I ran a long lasting webcomic as successful as Penny Arcade.

Granted
You will now start a successful comic that will take all of your time and attention.

I wish I was better at sculpting

Granted but you gain the problem of only sculpturing SpongeBob SquarePants, every single time.

I wish that Cave Story 3D came out now.

Granted, but it's so buggy you can't get past the title screen.

I wish TF2 would update and add everything from the beta.

Granted, but then it's all only available through the store.

I wish I could get the past the daisies Roof Levels in Plants vs. Zombies.

Granted. You could get past the roof levels until your eyes explode from playing it too much.

I wish I had a fully functioning time machine.

granted, but it would only send forward or backwards 1 nanosecond at a time.

I wish all the good 3DS games were out already.

Granted but in their unfinished state they play horrendously buggy and cause their developers to go out of business. With only the major developers standing Activision becomes a supernova of games, swallowing every developer left, save for Sony's, Nintendo's and Microsoft's in house teams. Not for long though. Soon even these bastions of gaming fall to Activision's maw. With no competion, Activision's free to release whatever the hell it wants, nevermind quality. Eventually the sheer amount of SUCK collapses into a singularity which devours the whole of the Earth.


I wish I could meet one of y'all in person.

Granted, you meet one of use in person but you don't even notice it since it happens to be someone you already know in real life.

I wish that I had more room on my IPod...

Look out your window, quick! crap, you just missed him.

I wish Clyve would get a good nights rest.

Granted but Clyve gets a really good night of sleep and never woke again.

I wish that my TV had better shows on.

Granted, but the sound is broken.

I wish my thinking had some depth to it.

Granted, but you think of nothing but drowning

I wish my relationships would stop ending before they even start

granted, but the relationship is with your hand

i wish i could just get stuff done and stop procrastinating