AWKWARD ZOMBIE

HEY!
I have 10 tabs with porn open. If you guys don't start entertaining me more then I am going to get distracted.

Are you at least fapping on sites you know so that you don't fuck up your computer?

Sure! I am totally fluent in French and Japanese. I can navigate those sites no problem and I am sure they are 100% safe.

Cheval de Troie

Sounds hot!

Oh

Oh

ewwwww

Okay, lets be honest. Who all pees in the shower?

Celebrating 1000 Pages of WAY Too Much Information!

~*~*~*~*Congratulations*~*~*~*~

Champagne for all!




And in the spirit of this thread, I ask of you;

Have any of you ever had an orgasm so powerful that your entire body cramped/seized up and you couldn't move at all for a few minutes? And then afterward you were so shaky and wobbly you couldn't even walk? And then the next day you were still jellylegged?

I have.

Fun fact: double penetration is fun

kinda awkward for arm positions, if you're dual wielding toys, though



also i totes pee EVERY TIME i shower

I pee in the shower.

Also why doesn't corn get digested very well. I noticed corn from dinner last night in my poo.

Anyways. I really do like masterbating, but I bet if I had a partner I would be having sex practically all the time.

i just realized how well of a comparison to me you are, oracle

Okay, circle jerk time.

I'll get out the lotion.

Peeing in the shower doesn't seem like a big deal with running water. It's crapping in it I draw the line at.

Curse you, Oracle, curse you.

I was trying to get that too.

I remember reading a section of a fanfic (sadly, not made by a troll) involving one. Apparently all of the guys had a spell cast on them that doubled the length of their dicks (to give them MORE POWER to defeat a dragon or something, because dicks work that way), so they of course had to immediately strip and wank right there.

It included this gem of a line:

"ha, mine's longer than yours now"

I'm still trying to figure out how that works when everyone was doubled. Are there imaginary numbers floating around or something?

And to commemorate the 1000th page, here's a piss AND sex (kinda?) question:

Who here has gotten post-micturition convulsion syndrome (or the more technical term, piss shivers) and likes them?

Makes taking a piss enjoyable. I also hear ladies can get them. Any stories to share?

I have crapped in the shower before, but it is always loose poo. Down the drain it goes, where it ends up I don't want to know.

I have never had that powerful of an orgasm, Oracle. I have had some pretty boss ones. Mainly because I am uncircumcised. And have a turkery neck. NSFW So when I pull back the foreskin the head is extremely sensitive and I can barely stroke it without being overwhelmed by a mix of pleasure and pain. It takes forever because of the pain and my skin pulling on my head, but the orgasm is fantastic.

no fuck you, this thread is my baby MINE




this is a good thing right

if so i'm honored