AWKWARD ZOMBIE

are you jealous of my youthful figure

Uh guys? That don't pee while erect thing? It's not like a valve. Just want to make that clear.

As for shaving down under goes, I currently just trim 'em a bit and keep 'em tidy. If any future ladyfriends want 'em shaved, I will comply.

Keep your pubes trimmed and neat. It looks better, and your crotch can get to smelling bad if you just let your pubes turn into a jungle.

yeah trimming is always good but smell shouldnt be an issue if you wash them

even for vagina wielders just get some water in there and it'll be fine

and never put soap in a vagina because it is like death

I prefer shaved or at least trimmed

I think body hair is incredibly gross in general x:

Speaking of soap in holes, my friend was showering once and she slipped, she fell on her voluptuous booty and got a bar of soap stuck in it.
I couldn't stop laughing.

Also I keep my pubes trimmed. Just take some scissors and be careful not to chop down the tree of life.

was the soap upright? how does that even

I don't know how it happened, but it was funny.

Why was the bar of soap on the floor?
Was she trying to pick it up and slip-
no... That wouldn't work.
How?

She said she was washing with it and it slipped out of her hands and she got discombobulated and stepped on it trying to look for it, or something.

Yes... sure that happened. What other reason could there be for that happening, right?

She could have been trying to dildo her asshole with the soap, but she's super finiky about things going into her booty.
I should know.

Grye we all know you are ladies man extraordinaire, but keep the soap tales from sounding like a creepy porn fic yeah?

Sorry about that. I was just getting a little testy, dunno how much simpler "She fell on a bar of soap." Could be without having strange undertones.

'dildo her booty with the soap' is a really great phrase