AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, now your life is screwed up.

I wish for oranges. Lots and lots of oranges.

Granted but they are rotten. And you are allergic to citrus fruit.

I wish I had a mohawk.

Granted, you get a Mohawk indian. He does nothing but stare at you in disgust.

I wish for apples. Lots and lots of apples.

Granted, but the apples you get from Whispy Woods also comes with a bunch of fuzzy caterpillars that hurt you if they touch you.

I wish I had a PSP.

Granted, but you're no longer interested with it.

I wish somebody would wanna read my stories. :< (WARNING: upstanding member of society stories, but not yiffy. But psychotic, violent nudity is imminent.)

Granted, but the only people who wanna read it are /b/tards.

I wish for the best jacket in the world.

Granted, but it's very itchy and uncomfortable. It's also lice-ridden, and Chuck Norris kicks your booty for it.

I wish I could visit the grave of george Carlin. He died on my birthday as my favorite comedian... T^T

Granted, but you're buried right next to him.


I wish I had something to wish for.

Granted but we will absolutely corrupt it within the hour.

I wish my mohawk would say something and not kill me.

He rhetorically asks if you need your balls, shortly before cutting them off.

With his blunt axe.

I wish Steam would stop being a whore and do what I wanted.

Granted but you suffer from ADD and forget what you wanted.

I wish my mohawk would not hurt me. In any way shape and form.

Granted. It kills you, but painlessly.

I wish I didn't need to get laid!

Granted. Your genitals are seared off.

I wish I got another page get.

Granted, but you get turned into a lemming.

I wish my classmates aprecciated my ork-themed boomerang.

Woo Evil Sunz

Granted, but now they all fight you for it.

I wish I could skip 4 hours ahead, after show choir is finished.