AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted, you now see nothing but dicks.

I wish I didn't just get ninja'd TWICE asdfg

It didn't work :c

I wish I could roll up into a morph ball and go back to normal without any bones breaking and without having to get rid of any bones or organs

Granted. You can roll into a morph ball now, but it's because you are now a rolly polly bug.

I wish my C drive was bigger.

Granted. Your computer became larger, but the memory's the same.


I wish everyone on the world including me was pop flyin'.

Granted. It's because we're all dead.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

You are now dead.

I wish I cud maek sum sikk beets on dis here drunpadd, yo.

Granted- it turns out that "maek sum sikk beets on dis here drunpadd" is an ancient satanic chant that triggers the apocalypse.


I wish I didn't have gym class.

Granted. Before this wish, you had the urge to become a serial killer, but was too lazy. you now begin to kill everyone in your neighborhood, before long your guilt overwhelmis you and you end your life.

I wish i had more cheddar (obtained in a legal way)

Edit: Fuck i gave this wish a detailed corruption only to be ninja'd. Fuck.

Granted, enjoy your cheese.

I wish there were no ninjas, only doctors who were also ninjas.

all the doctors are ninjas. and since you have to give their name for insurance and the like, they hunt everyone down and kill them.

I wish that the world became completely literate.

Granted. In addition to being literate, everyone instantly becomes enormous jerkwads.

I wish I had the nerve.

Granted. The nerve is very sensitive and experiences sharp pain every time you pee.

I wish I could have Chinese food for dinner.

Granted, but since you are new no one cares.

I wish my download speed would go faster without destroying my internet or computer.

Granted. Your computer begins to download so fast that it downloads whatever it can find, whether you wanted it to or not.

I wish I was a more talented musician.