AWKWARD ZOMBIE

granted. You drink alcohol with the sleeping pills causing you to never wake up.

I wish i wish i was a fish

EDIT: ninja'd

(Oh snap, double corruption)
Noble Wrot
Your girlfriend now finds your sense of humor ideal and laughs uproariously at all your jokes, but her laugh has been replaced with a low guttural shriek akin to the sound a pig makes when it's hurled into the sun

Nefarious Bear
You are a fish. Er, were a fish, I had some salmon today with a taste rather reminiscent of nefarious bears.

I wish more people knew about Streetlight Manifesto

Everyone else knows about it. And they all hate it.

I wish I wasn't feeling so sleepy.

Granted, you're now asleep.

I wish I was motivated.

Granted, during a brief moment of elation, you accidentally sprint over the side of a bridge.

I wish life was more like Dungeons & Dragons.

You roll a 1 on romance checks for the rest of your life.

I wish Superman was real.

Granted, but he's a huge booty.

I wish I was psychokinetic.

So no discernible difference? Awesome!


Granted, you don't know how to use your power and fling yourself through a wall.

I wish the dogs next door would stop fucking barking.

Granted, they stop fucking old lady Barking and start fucking someone else.

I wish I had 3 eyes.

Granted, but the third one gets stabbed in a bar fight.

Then you lose the other two in a car accident.

I wish I had more money.

Have a penny. It's not worth anything, just a normal penny.
Also stopping to pick it up gets you hit by a car.

I wish I never made this thread.

The funniest thing right now would be a mod locking this thread.

Granted. You never existed to make this thread.

Paradox.

I wish The World Ends With You will be presented with a sequel.

The sequel clocks in at just over three seconds of gameplay! Also, it has terrible character personalities and is riddled with plot holes.

I wish Collegehumor was funny again.

Granted. They become so hilarious that they start charging for their services at exorbitant rates.

I wish Problem Sleuth started picking up speed for me soon.