AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Granted. You are sent back in time to a point before you made the wish, where you will continue making the wish, trapping you in an infinite loop.

I wish we win our football game today.

Ok. but that is he first and last win you're team will ever get.

I wish I knew what toilets for anthros would look like.

Granted, but now it is the only thought in your head

I wish whoever corrupts this has a good day

Having corrupted your wish I will go on to accidentally watch Freddy Got Fingered, thus ensuring my day can be nothing short of lucid dreams of fear.

I wish I could get older faster.

Granted, but you age so fast that you turn into dust in minutes.

I wish Homestuck would update.

It does but it's the last update ever. The end.

I wish W was name double-jew.

Granted, but Hitler decides to kill it during WWII, depriving the world of a letter.

I wish I was better at Team Fortress 2.

You are so good you feel compelled to play it constantly, your life rots away, friends and family drift from you and recede into death, and you are still playing, playing, until it's just you, Team Fortress 2, and the atoms and the void.

I wish I had ice cream.

The ice cream is poop flavored.


I wish I wasn't lazy.

Poof! You are now less lazy, and more high-strung. Also female. A Hysterical Broad, one could say.

I wish I had a wish to corrupt.

Oops, dang it.

I wish I had a few more pieces of licorice. Good tasting licorice.

The licorice... IS MADE OF PIG GUTS

I wish Skyward Sword came out now and was the best Zelda game ever and I could own it.

The system you planned to play it on breaks. Figuring you'll just get it fixed tomorrow you go to bed. You do not wake up.

I wish I had some mild sleeping pills.

They are too mild to have any effect. You remain sleepless and have the worst night of your life.

I wish Sailor Moon thought my jokes were funny.