AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I might get around to doing another one of these soon if I remember to charge my camera, so, yeah

No spoony I am charging you.

On the charges of you being too lame.

oh babby im sry

I'll be making dinner tonight for the family.
I'll be making Honey mustard chicken as a main course, something that I can't remember right now as a side dish. And a Pineapple Rum cream for dipping fruit as the dessert.
Pics and recepies coming tonight.

after i have a less shit day, i am going to show you all how to make some fucking rainbow cake

expect it around saturday next week

ATTENTION CHILDREN



COOKING TIMES WITH UNCLE SPOONY ARE UPON US ONCE AGAIN

Today, we construct Anazac Biscuits. This is a recipe dating back to the first world war, to the brave and noble Rats of Tobruk that Uncle Spoony proudly served with.



The poor wives that these men left behind had to devise a recipe for sweet baked goods with what little resources they had. Eggs costed MANY MEAL TICKETS, and even if they were readily available, any baked product with egg in it has a short shelf life AS YOU SHOULD WELL KNOW. Thus, they devised the Anzac Biscuit, so named for the troops they sent them to. We make them now to honour Uncle Spoony's squad, who are DEAD TO THE LAST MAN.

The following are necessary;

1 cup plain flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup desiccated coconut
125 grams butter
2 tablespoons boiling water
1 tablespoon golden syrup
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 wasted life
0 living friends
~ child support payments
1 head full of bad memories

As always, preheat your oven first. 180 degrees celsius.



To begin, mix your flour, sugar, oats and coconut thusly.



Now measure out about 120 grams of butter. Uncle Spoony is using disgusting home brand butter, because the only store in town that sells anything better is run by one of the many womenfolk left in his wake. She is of the opinion that Uncle Spoony never came back from the great war, and THAT IS FOR THE BEST.



Golden Syrup may or may not be available in your country, depending on how man of your rulers think you don't deserve it. An approximate facsimile would be mixing 1 parts honey to 1 parts maple syrup, should you be too cowardly to fight the system to acquire some by whatever means necessary. In any case, put your butter and syrup into the microwave for about a minute until it is entirely liquidious. While it is melting together, in a seperate vessel, combine your boiling water and bi carb soda.



Pour your bi carb soda into your buttery concoction, and it should look like that; slightly bubbling.



Mix together with your dry ingredients, because alloys are stronger.



Now scoop your soldiers onto a lined tray using a teaspoon. Your biscuits will spread out as quickly as chinamen, so make sure to leave some room. Then put them in the oven until they are golden brown. Uncle Spoony baked his for 11 minutes.



While you are waiting, perhaps you would enjoy sitting by the fire in your favourite rocker, having some fine tobacco that you refused to pay taxes to the government on.



Uncle Spoony is enjoying a McClellands blend; Arcadia. It is a complicated reconstruction of an old English blend that was Dr Watson's favourite smoke in the Sherlock Holmes stories. Years after it was long since out of production, McClellands went across the lands speaking with avid collectors, and even managed to find some old tins tucked away here and there from the keener individuals, and have since been able to approximate a quite flavoursome reproduction. It is a cool burn that dances on the tongue with subtle hints of times gone by.



Once your biscuits are done, they should look something like this. They may appear weak and spongy at first, but FEAR NOT, for they will strengthen considerably anon.

Victory is yours, young one.

Those look pretty daisies good, but, that first picture. I felt like Spoony was going to molest me like a fine but maniacal gentlemen, instead of baking some biscuits.

Collecting the ingredients as we speak.

I'm making this shit tomorrow.

You are what I wish I could be.
If you had a monocle it'd be perfect.

IF YOU WERE HIM
YOU WOULD ACTUALLY EAT NOTHING BUT CREAM
TROLL CREAM
NOT EVEN HE IS HIM
HE'S A FRAUD

spoony is one snappy dresser

Maaaannnnn he sent me some of these a while back
Actually it wasn't just some, it was like, four pounds of them. And that is a lot of Anzac biscuits.

They were so fucking delicious. I ate a couple of them with my tea every morning for the next three months.
Actually, funnily enough, these cookies lived on with being related to explosions and death.
They got to me the very day those damned Hill Russians made my truck explode a-la-Michael Bay (for anyone who remembers that last October)

Spoony confirmed for best derp-face.