AWKWARD ZOMBIE

lolno

That was your mother.

They just look

So similar

Any fellow retailers know the horror of this weekend known as back to school tax free weekend. Goddamned kids, why are there so many of them.


Speaking of which, where do you guys work? I'm sales floor at Target.

Hah, I used to work retail in a new age sort of store; incense, crystals, tarot cards, all that. You wouldn't believe the freaks we got in there. One dude regularly came in wearing a robe and rocking a staff.

Like, fucking magician wizarding shit?

Less harry potter plastic toys, more druidic runes and blessed scrolls and all that.

Sounds kind of like a place my brother is interviewing for.

So like, ancient medieval wizards. That's still pretty weird.

Anyone work at a theater?


That's where I'm going to apply when I turn in my permit

Haha, my mom used to go to a Wiccan place just like that. They had a guy with a staff too, oddly.

Maaan they all have the same weird smell and I don't know why.

Although, I did have quite a bit of fun reading all of the books about demons and spells and all the other bullshit. Dear oh dear.

I have a friend who works at a theatre.

He hates it.

BROTHER!! I SHARE YOUR PAIN!!

Though when I'm in Back to School I keep that place tidy LIKE A BOSS!

I work as a cashier at Toys R Us and I swear teenagers need to get off my goddamn lawn.

So a while ago, when I was on closing shift, there was this guy who came through my line. It looked like he had all of his belongings in the cart in front of him, wrapped up in dirty plastic bags and backpacks. He never said a word the entire time, although he grunted once or twice and was constantly making wide, aggressive gestures. I waited for him to start putting things up on the counter before I turned the register on (we're constantly timed whenever we're logged in, so it's kind of a numbers thing), but he was apparently waiting for me to turn on the register. I went around to try and grab the groceries that he had gotten, and as soon as I touched something, he grabbed my arm until I dropped it. He then waited for me to turn the register on. I did. He wouldn't put it on the counter, so I wondered if letting him hand it to me was okay. Just about shanked me with a pork roast before I stepped back and he ran things over the scanner himself.
He then paid for everything, and started to go on his way. By this point, Hunter (best coworker, if you recall) had figured out something was off, so he was kind of playing bodyguard. The guy then came back to the checkstand (we were closed at this point) and started gesturing something that we couldn't figure out. We tried talking. He just flailed some more. And he kept coming back to the checkstand. Hunter finally managed to get him outside, but the guy just waited next to the door. As I started to leave after clocking out, the guy began following me, so Hunter decided to walk me out to my car. The guy finally left, and I think he ended up stealing that cart that he had his stuff in.


he came back tonight. And he kept doing the exact same thing he had done before. Except this time, no Hunter. So I just explained that until he could find some way to communicate, I was unable to help him. Then, between Mayra (the other checker) and I, we were able to get him out of the store by sort of backing him out.