AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Had to take a day off work because my stomach is upset and I'd rather be near a toilet while feeling like this.

Mildly annoyed face.

Congratulations you made a woman.

aint fucking funny man what the fuck do i do we didnt even have sex and she just started bleeding and now shes crying and shit and google isnt telling me anything useful and some adults would be really good right now

What do you need to know? Hymens can break from a lot of things, horse riding, exercise. Doesn't mean she isn't a virgin anymore, unless it's a religious thing.

so shes not a virgin? thats the main thing right now she ran off to the bathroom but oh my fucking god were having panic attacks and shit

Did she have sexual intercourse? Has a penis entered her vagina? If not, then she is still a virgin.

If she hasn't said sex she's still a virgin. Hymens get broken all the time, it doesn't change the status. If anything it'll make it easier and less painful for if you ever do go all the way.

Isn't this story supposed to involve n64 games

Some people just don't know how girls work
Anatomically speaking

If you didn't put your penis in her then she is technically still a virgin.
I can guarantee you didn't rip ALL of her hymen, unless you were doing something crazy.
Probably just a little tear, she's still a virgin, she's still gonna bleed and hurt when she has intercourse for the first time.

This thing in my ear still isn't gone. I thought it was just water, but it would be gone by now, and if it were infected it should probably hurt more, but it just feels like there's something sitting in the eustachian tube. Best-case scenario is just waxy build-up, and I really don't feel like going to the doctor, but this is starting to affect my hearing.

Maybe she just got her period suddenly?


Anyway, I had diarrhea today. On the 30 minute walk home from work. I walked back to the hospital and went there.

This. As long as you didn't stick it in her, she's still a virgin. This isn't the 1800s; hymens can break from playing sports for crying out loud. You're both fine.

As for the bleeding, it'll go away fairly quickly (it probably has already.) It's scary as hell at first but it's not really a big deal. She might be sore for a few days though. The perks are that, when she DOES have sex, her hymen will already be torn/stretched and sex won't hurt as bad the first few times.

I had to poop yesterday.
I was half way done and I saw a spider, couldn't poop anymore.
Now I have to go again.

Speaking of hymens (why is that I thing I have ever said now), it's actually a huge misconception that they are something that blocks the way until sex happens, or something else happens to break it. Although it is certainly close, and if I recall correctly, they cover a bit of the edge I think. They are actually beneath (or behind, depending on the perspective) the opening, and girls can have sex and not have a broken hymen. They are not correlated.