AWKWARD ZOMBIE

granted, but all the rewards you would've gotten for the sidequests are gone

I wish i was good at strategy RPGs

Granted, but now they're so glitchy that it makes then virtually impossible to play, forcing them out of the market and denying anyone else the chance to play them.

I wish that the college website actually hosted important things such as a calender and abscense line numbers.

Wish granted.

Due to the new layering of college sites, there is suddenly an exodus out of high-school diploma life and into colleges everywhere. You're kicked out because your now crappy grades can't even hold a match to the sudden revolution of knowledge enveloping the nation.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish.

Wish granted, now everyone thinks you're lazy.

I wish I never get robbed.

granted, you now have nothing worth stealing.

i wish animation was easier for one person to make.

Granted: Animation is easier to make, but, oddly enough, only when there is scandalous material embedded within. You suddenly realize this wish had already been granted to Walt Disney Studios and sit in silent contemplation about wasting a wish, instead of working for Disney. You shrug it off and make your animations anyways, only to be sued from the sight of a penis in the background of a dancing gopher movie. You are now penniless, but can still make flip-book animation for passer-bys for cheddar. Eventually, people begin to notice the subliminal stick figure 69 and no longer give their change to you, and in one unfortunate event, are hobo-shivved in the gut under an overpass. It was unrelated to the wish, of course, but it still happened.

I wish my new house had power so I wouldn't be deprived of AZ for another week.

Your house suddenly has power, but somehow the mains is wired to anything that can conduct electricity - now meaning that you have a chance of being electrocuted while going for a shower.

I wish I could fly.

^
Worth it for mah Internetz.

Granted. You soar into the air, laughing with joy. And then you get caught in an airplane propeller.

I wish I had a bagel.

Granted, but the bagel is moldy and inedible.

I wish D-vid would get here faster.

Granted, he get's here instantaneously, and crashes right into you at 500mph.

I wish I could run at 500mph.

Granted, you slip on Crispy and crash into D-vid after he made Crispy into a puddle of goo, none survive

I wish I could sleep for 20 days straight

Granted, But in sleeping for 20 days straight your body died of dehydration.

I wish I had some food.

Granted, it is horribly inedible and makes you sicker just from the sight

I wish I could read minds selectively and deal with any bad thing I hear

When you hear a girl thinking about getting a boobjob, you are run over by a bus.

I wish nothing that could be seen as bad by anyone would happen.