AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Man, watching two people who both think they know what they're talking about but really don't argue is the best.

You are both arguing over zombie related "facts" and neglecting the fact that zombies don't fucking exist

Do we not exist then?

We're awkward zombies after all.

Oh god, is my whole life a lie?

Here we go...
Flamethrowers are designed to burn the skin of foolish humans and also pretty much everything else. Once the recipient of the fiery goodness falls into shock, the rest is a cake walk. Unfortunately, the only way to kill a zombie with it is to fry its brain, which can take a while, and then there's hundreds of them. They would cause zombie problems, but they wouldn't be effective enough to be practical.
Grenades, like land mines, are intended to grievously wound over kill, since a wounded soldier takes up time, cheddar and space, crippling the enemy. Again, zombies don't wound. Direct explosion damage or shrapnel-through-the-skull is the only way to kill them with one.
Machine guns, arguably the most effective infantry weapon, is pointless since the point is to inflict massive body damage to several soldiers at once. Due to its wasteful and inefficient nature, attempting to kill a horde of zombies with them is futile. 80% of all the shots are either going to miss or hit the target's limbs and torso. All this is pointless when a few hardened, trained individuals with simple carbines are going to fare much, much better.
As for that fellow talking about zombies not being real, so? We can have a rousing hypothetical discussion just for the hell of it, can't we? Don't be a killjoy.

Of course they don't. I'm arguing about what those weapons do to human bodies, not zombies in particular. Who gives a fuck about walking corpses, I'm trying to get someone to understand the damage weapons are capable of doing to anything.

everybody should be implanted with a small explosive device that severs the spinal chord when detonated. In case of a zombie outbreak. And everyone should be cremated after a funeral.

So, my zombie plan, again, is:
-Take essentials, such as water, orange juice (so I don't get scurvy), beef jerky, granola bars, a flashlight, batteries, a multi-tool, a hand-cranked emergency radio, a cell-phone and wall charger (Google Maps will be useful), a baseball bat and a gun (for last-resort suicide).
-I would travel from my home to Hempstead road. This is a long road with goes through a good amount of Houston.
-I would travel West, into the country, towards New Braunfels,Texas. There, I'll hole up in a hotel that my family and friends go to every summer. As it is a vacation town, there will be plenty of stores to loot for food and drink.
-I will hole up there and wait for rescue, if there ever would be one.

I think if there was a zombie attack I would just go live in the firth for a while.

First I would go get our friend to join our zombie crew because he is like as fit as me and my brother combined, and lives right down the street. Then we would all get weapons and fortify our house, I guess.

Although it would be awesome if the zombie outbreak didn't start in Florida. All ways in and out would be blocked, and the military could form a barricade at the northern end so people in Florida wouldn't even have to worry about the zombies.

I have a knife and that is about it..
I could stab maybe two zombies before I get bitten. So I guess it was worth it?

Best idea: Teabagging zombies.

Now my anus has a bite out of it.
Thanks for the idea jerk.

I would hijack a train. Why a train? I like trains.

Chances are I am going to die in this apocalypse at one point, I would prefer to die on a train. Not sure why.

I live near a barrack so maybe I would do okay in a zombie attack.

But then again being in a fort surronded by a moat full of thousands of people probably isn't the best thing either

If there was a zombie outbreak I would move to another country, since America seems to get the majority (at least in recent fiction) of the zombie outbreaks. I could move to London, and only worry about aliens ruining my day. Or I could move to Tokyo and only worry about giant monsters ruining my day.

I'm terrible, My first thought when I read this was "or earthquakes."