AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Awkwardness due to this being his first forum?

I'm just hazarding a guess

The prevailing theory (to my knowledge) is that the Hero's Shade is in fact the Hero of Time. He knows all sorts of attacks, is left handed, refers to TP Link as a member of the same bloodline, and is generally a badass. An offshoot of this is that the Hero of Time became lost in the Lost Woods after MM, and became a stalfos, explaining his appearance.

That theory just makes Link sound like an idiot who died because he didn't have a Tomtom.

i believe the idea that after MM, Hero of Time Link grew up and became a great leader of men, as DND put it.

He probably either died of old age after a great many epic battles, or died during on of said epic battles in his prime as a REAL MAN.

I think the "lost in woods, everybody stalfos" idea makes sense. After losing his fairy, he was no longer safe in the woods. All those dead ends that lead you back to the village, you think Link found his way on his own?

Also, the reason everyone tries to solve the puzzle of the timeline is because if they finally figure it out, the key will drop from the ceiling.

I got a key from the ceiling one day
I have no idea what it unlocks or where the lock is

It unlocks









my pants

D:>

You'd give handjobs to the homeless, but you wouldn't help Sloth get out of his pants? Sheesh He's had those things on for a while. You have to rescue him, Vealin!

I have one question

If I unlock his pants, will his penis open a portal to the end of the world?

His penis is the final boss of the dungeon.

Yes, actually.

Sloth has been Brief this whole time.

Fuck no don't associate me with that garbage.

SHIT.

crispy(or someone else), fetch me my sword, a shield, and some invincible armor powered by my own cheddar
also, prepare a bath...this is gonna get messy and very, very gross

...*sigh*


So how 'bout them Zeldas, man. I remember when it was rated E for everyone.