This exciting update was brought to you by the letter M!
And not by Komo!
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Oh! I think I forgot my bag back there by the tall grass!
Better go get-
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!Get out of here! Who wants a
snake-
BUT WAIT!
MUST
HAVE
CLASSY
A true gentleman.
I have obtained CLASSY. (Named by Komo - who could have guessed?)
Alright, NOW to continue on my quest! No more distract-
THAT GUY
IS IN
A BERET
Standing guard
in a beret.
OR you could be hiding a super-sinister operation down there involving the mutilation of innocent and stupid creatures, but that's unlikely. Keep up the good work, citizen!
How does a well make it rain.
Is it a geyser or something?
...is there something in the water around here or something?
Oh, right.
SLOWPOKE URINE.
There is stupidness in the water. Don't drink it, team! Team?
[img]EVERYONE%20IS%20STUPID[/img]
Useless little things. Don't see what the problem is.
Other end of the cave.
What about the unpleasant Pokemon, like Beedrill.
Or Muk.
Do you live with Muk.
How would you do that, anyway? Every bathtub in the town is home to a Muk?
The Crystal Squad could use some rejuvenating. Time to visit the Center!
Die a horrible, painful death.
Technawlowgee.
Bill? Who's Bill? Why is he on my Trainer Data Profile?
And why is that old guy from that one guy's house on it, too?
TEAM CHANGE:
Added: Monty, Mr. Classy
Removed: Oliver, Stoner
What does it taste like? Bubblegum? Stupid? Does it taste like stupid?
Indifferent.
I am Crystal. I am journeying across the land in search of orange juice.
Who are you?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I'm leaving.
Hey, the nice citizen in the beret is gone! It must be safe to go inside now!
A person!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK.
'Cause you're a terrifying creep.
Interesting.
...
SOMETHING MOVED! Are there monsters down here?!
AAAAAAAAAH- What.
What in the name of fuck are those things.
Beret man! Glad to see you're safe!
I bet he wants your balls.
DON'T LET HIM NEAR YOU
Goodness! You could have been injured! As soon as I finish exploring the cave, we can both go beat up Kurt. It's a promise!
I don't have a tail, so we're all good.
Aw, the nice lady gave me a present!
What
the
fuck are those things.
WAIT.
Slowpoke Well.
Those are Slowpoke?
I saw a Slowpoke.
It looked kind of cute, if a bit derpy.
Those things... They're phalli with faces.
FACES.
WHAT IS
WRONG WITH THIS TOWN.
I mean, it would be nice if you didn't. It's not like the Slowpoke did anything wrong. All they are is mind-numbingly stupid.
Wait.
Did you say 'Team Rocket'?
Team Rocket?
Weren't you guys pretty big stuff a few years back, before some kid rubbed your faces in the dirt?
You guys got
owned.
How could you lose to a
kid.
You have to be the worst- Aaaaaand battle. I think I deserve this.
That was easy.
I bet it is tougher when you get beaten by someone younger than you.
Like right now.
Slooooooooowphaaaallluuuuuuuussssss.
To explore this cave.
Is that a threat?
Are you
threatening me?
Sit this one out, team.
CRYSTAL...
PAWNCH!I swear to Celebi, I will hunt down and destroy every single one of you bastards.
...
Welp, he's unconscious. That solves that problem. Best head back up to town.
Dammit.
Why couldn't your injuries have killed you?
I've had practice punching my mom's creepy boyfriends.
Want a free sample?
Wha... Thanks?
POKEBALLS COME FROM FRUIT.
WHO KNEW?
You sure do love balls.
How is that pronounced?
Wihhihtih?
Whit?
Wet?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ASSHAT?
I thought you were... not here!
Yeah. I kind of punched their leader in the dick so hard he passed out.
I'm not lying.
I punched him in the dick
and he passed out.
Bring
it
on.
What's that thing on your PokeGear?
A radio?
Let's get some music for this fight!
Pitiful ghost! Geist could swallow it whole!
Monty fainted.
Pouncer took out Gastly.
Wikileek, use SleepPowder!
Vine Whip it a lot!
(Not shown: Epic battle with Zubat, resulting in the unconsciousness of Wikileek.)
So make them not weak.
Then let me beat you again.
I hate Sunkern and Joey, too. That's why I let Boris eat the latter.
Well, nobody wants a weak
house.
So... Every Youngster everywhere? Wouldn't that be genocide?
I want to wipe them out, too.
Yeah! Let's hate them together!
Or... not.
...
...
...
...
...
YAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNN!
...
STUPID PHALLUS!
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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S BONUS ART TIME!
Verom AND Cosmic both drew Mr. Classy for this update, but since Verom has a lot of art already in the LP, I figured I'd put Cosmic's up there, and Verom's down here. DOUBLE THE CLASSINESS.
It's Phalluspoke #1!
And Phalluspoke #2! Remember them from up there?
They're avatar sized now! Convenient!
JOIN US NEXT TIME, WHEN CRYSTAL CHALLENGES THE AZALEA GYM!
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