AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Innate: Okay.

Q: MOBILE MUSHROOMS

W: *Jaws theme*

E: Needs more CC

R: I'MMA BITE YOUR KNEECAPS OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

She's going to give us all AIDS.

She's the first new champ in a long time that's caught my interest. I want to try her out.

FUNNY PICTURE TIME.

I...

I have to play him now.

QUESTION

Reindeer Kog'Maw or Silent Night Sona.

I can afford ONE.

CHOOSE WISELY.

Eh, I think Sona has a more appealing look, but Kog'maw is Kog'maw and you have been playing him more. At the same time, you'll have to decide between being a butterfly or a reindeer and butterfly wins hands-down. Idk!

TOO LATE KOG'MAW GET.

HE SINGS DECK THE HALLS.

Tristana is fun but I need to learn how to not die with her. Should probably get armor runes and throw armor items into the build. Also need to practice comboing her W and R together for maximum entertainment.

If you're having trouble with physical characters, take Exhaust. It also helps when you're trying to get early ganks, so even if the enemy team doesn't have any strong physical DPS, it's still useful. Also, even a small amount of lifesteal will keep you at full health when the fighting starts, and a Bloodthirster or two will keep your health up even with an enemy champion on you, so long as you aren't disabled.

Other than that, keep in mind that Tristana's ultimate isn't used the same way in teamfights as it is while laning. You use it to keep dangerous targets away from you and your teammates (Tryndamere, Olaf), stop channeled abilities (Kat, Galio), and break up player based AoE ultimates (Kennen, Fiddlesticks). Actually pushing enemies into danger usually requires you to use your Rocket Jump offensively, leaving it on cooldown and putting you in a situation with no escape. You should typically save the jump for when your own life is at risk, or when the enemy team is retreating and unlikely to fight back. Note that teams that are retreating with close-to-full health only need a second or two to turn around and kill you, so it's best to know just how far ahead of your own team you are when chasing with Rocket Jump.

Or we could play that all carry team again and troll the world.

With 5 fortifies and heals.

You really want to troll someone, you go 5 tanks, preferably with AoE ultimates, Fortify and Revive on every single one, and a Sunfire Cape, Banshee's Veil, and Guardian Angel in every build.

Will you win? Who cares! The game will take two hours to finish!

I have a feeling you have experience in the matter.

Well, fun can be had in many ways. If four of my friends want to play a game and troll people, I'll gladly join in and endorse the idea so long as we're still enjoying ourselves. If the game really does drag on to the point where no more fun can be derived from it, we have the option to surrender or win, depending on how well our strategy actually works. Of course, a tank team with 5 AoE ultimates is a force to be reckoned with, and it can be quite hilarious to see them run straight into the enemy base without minion support and just tear down towers with the enemy team desperately trying to stop it from happening. Likewise, watching an enemy push get thwarted remotely by five well-timed Fortifies is the kind of thing you cherish for its rarity. It's unlikely that you'll stop enjoying yourself so long as you're playing with people you like.

I suppose that's just a general rule of the game, though. Super-carry-semi-tank Urgot is definitely a lot more enjoyable when I'm playing with people I know rather than the standard fare of foul-mouthed degenerates who lurk behind the cover of a seemingly benevolent matchmaking system.

My god, I love the language you use with your posts.