AWKWARD ZOMBIE

That doesn't mean they can't think about others. Most people can't, indeed, but lotsa people are able to.

There is a lot I could add to the conversation, but my problem is that I'm not able to write a readable version of my thoughts and experiences. It would work in a chat, but not in a post.
Let me try if I get atleast a bit right...
Strictly taken, there is almost always a selfish reason behind our actions. I'm an easy to handle as a person and friend, but I can't deny that I sometimes wish that certain persons would do more stuff with me, or that I was a bit more confident telling them that I'd like to spent more time with them.
Nowadays you could say that my actions are based on my intentions that I want to be a good friend, and people see me as that. Mind you, I'm not playing a facade here, if I wanted attention I could do easily otherwise. I just want to see the people pop flyin' I like, talk to them, spent time with them, do stuff with them. Just have a good time if you know what I mean. Of course, on the contrary, I always give a shoulder to cry on and try my best to help should I see they aren't feeling well.

Damnit.
I'm sick and tired of helping people.
You know why?
It always ends up being thrown back in my face.
I help people with all my ability and what happens?
They leave my side.
I spent countless hours with them, side by side, listening, and helping with their problems.
And then what?
I fall in love.
I fall in too deep.
And when they leave a little bit of me dies.
And when I ask them what happened to us I get the same response:
"I don't know."
So I tear up.
I lose sleep.
I browse /b/.
Then the cycle repeats.
And eventually, I can see myself becoming another statistic.

Edit: This last one fucked me up badly.
We spent day after day together
Laughing, crying, crying because we were laughing so hard
I talked to her today. This's our conversation.

"Who do you have for math?"
"Bustillos."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, between you and me."
"I don't know."
"Me either."
"We've had this conversation before."
"I don't recall."
"'You're always busy'"
"No, that's why we don't hang out. I mean, we can't talk like we used to."
"All the conversations were the same."
"I never thought so."
"I did."
"I guess that's what happened."
"I guess so."

TL;DR I feel like dieing

You have a big signature.
I'm insensitive.

Let's see if I can get my words together again.

Love is a strong emotion, if it happens that you fall in love with someone, there are two ways out - either you get together, or you don't.
If you don't end up together, the relationship often crumbles. It's because you are sad, hurt... you want more, but it's not going to happen. Then there is this "Let's stay friends". Since you fell in love with that person in the first place, odds are that you want to stay around that person. Sure, it might work for a while, but often the friendship ends - when the love is gone, everything is gone. Sure, you might still care about that person, but it's just not the same anymore as in the beginning.

Then there is the other side. The person breaks up contact or reduces it because he/she doesn't want to hurt you, or is overwhelmed by the situation her/himself and doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Love is a complicated thing, it brings as much pain as it brings comfort. Well, those are my experiences and thoughts on this.

I would add something more, but just saying what I already have has opened up old wounds and stirred unwanted memories.

So I'm going to re-engage my psyche-locks and try to get on with my artwork before I dwell too long on things I want to leave in the past.


I'll just say I find it hard to love other human beings.

Maybe in the past - when I was more naive and trusting - I was able to indulge that emotion... but the personality that I have now - far more guarded, analytical, and prone to flickers of rage - is built on a distrust of other people.

I don't think I hate other people, I just don't think I'll ever be able to truly trust one with my heart.

Didn't there used to be pictures here, once upon a time.

pictures told me that she just wanted to be friends and i couldn't post her here anymore

what a bitch

Don't call her a bitch
She's shy and introvert
She's scared of commitment.
We have to take things slowly from there on.

Spoony, you have like, 5000 jpegs on your computer.


POST ONE OF THEM.

Listen, guys.
I just talked with... her.
Pictures.
.. she says she'll come back...
But we have to take it to a slow pace, OK ?
Here. Greet her friendly.





EDIT
Hey guys !
She said she wanted to come again !
Isn't it great ?

I'm pretty sure that /b/ story is at least somewhat embellished. Jumping out of a bus at 45 mph wouldn't make you a vegetable, unless you're stupid and aimed right at the road or something. <_<

jokes on you comic my dad is already dead