AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I wish I were my mother too. Then my mom would be so much more understanding.

I have a solution for your problem, Riku.

Time travel.

Then you can be your mother.

Too bad there aren't time machines existent, then you could go back in time, become your own mother and create an awesome time paradox.

Me and CN think alike in this matter apparently.

That would explain why I look so much like a thinner version of my mom sometimes.

Awwww yeah, time travel.

o/

\o

Awkward time traveling zombies.

Actually, I got... One...

Think about what you would do to make that happen... D :

Say you are twenty years old when you found a time machine.
You'd have to go back more than twenty years to be your own mother. At that point, your Dad would have no idea who you are because you don't technically exist yet, and your Dad would look different, so you wouldn't recognize him and he'd be around your age, so it wouldn't seem creepy at all.

SHE BURNT MY SHAKE.

My sandwich is a fried boot!
Lyra cooks like Squidward.

CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS.

FIRST THINGS FIRST:
You should know what to do by now.

COOOOOOOOOKIN:


INGREDIENTS:
2 large chicken breasts
about 1.5 quarts/liters chicken broth (homemade, storebought, whatever.)
2 large carrots
2 large stalks of celery
1/2 a medium-size white onion
2 cups of bisquick
milk
paprika
herbs such as rosemary, parsley, basil, and sage.
pepper



INSTRUCTIONS:
First Clean the vegetables with either a brush, or an unused dish scrubbie.

You see the beautiful difference?


chop the vegetables. Riku feels that now is a good time to demonstrate safe knife holding.

This is bad. You could lose your grip on the knife like that and slice your fingertips off. Riku hates finding fingernails in her food. Almost as much as hair.


This is good. You have a secure grip, and even if you did lose track of your knife for a second, you would just sort of knick your knuckles, which is much easier to clean than the other option.


You want to cut the vegetables as thinly as possible, so that they will cook faster.


Then you cut up your chicken and put it in the largest skillet you can find. If you don't have one of at least a 12 inch/ 30cm diameter, then just use a large soup pot. Cook it on medium until the outside is all white.


When the outside looks cooked, but the inside is still more raw than Riku's brother's butt after the youthful defiance of stupidity, then you dump in your chicken broth and vegetables. If you're using dried rosemary, now is a good time to put that in, in order to soften it up a bit. Turn the stove to the highest setting.



While you're boiling your stuff, it's time to mix up the dumplings.
If you happen to have an adorable little brother who likes to help with things, like Riku's brother Garret, now would be a good time to employ his assistance.


Make sure he washes his hands.

Put your bisquick into a litre/quart sized container and then you can pour the appropriate amount of milk into the bisquick and have him stir.



It should look about like this.



Now, once your carrots are tender (don't worry, the chicken will be cooked by this point), take another handfull of bisquick and slowly sprinkle it into the broth while you stir. This will turn the broth into more of a gravy.



And now is when you drop in the dumplings. Take large spoonful-sized globs of batter and place them in a pattern resembling this:


BECAUSE FLOWERS ARE TOUGH AND COOL. YEAH.
Also, don't worry, they will expand immensely.


Now is also when you put in all of your other seasonings. Cover it up and turn off the heat. You're just steaming the dumplings, not frying them. Leave them for a while until the dumplings are exponentially larger than before, and then check briefly to see if they're done.


They should look like this. The tops will be split so that you can see what looks like the inside of a biscuit.

THIS IS DELICIOUS.


IF YOU DON'T BELIVE RIKU,


BELIEVE RIKU'S LITTLE BROTHER.

HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE THAT FACE?

Wasn't it Garret you were complaining about, or was it someone else?





And whenever I or my mom make chicken and dumplings, it ends up looking exactly like yours.

That face is very convincing


Yumm

No that was William

I might need to look into making this myself