AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Today's update is the longest in the history of Lonk, containing 215 pictures.

And I'm captioning every single one.



LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

FINALE TIME



LET'S DO IT



Uhh

This room

Surprisingly lacking in this to do



Let's climb this here thing



Nope nothing on this



STAIRS



This is a LOT OF STAIRS

The first person to make a Sweet Bro joke gets stabbed in the face.



END OF STAIRS

NOW IT IS GO TIME



Through this incredibly large door, destiny awaits!



At this point you should open up ominous music and listen to it.



Zelda's crystal and a cape welcome me to the room.



Zelda does not look pop flyin'.



The cape is none too pleasant either.



And suddenly my hand glows.

Triforce of Courage go!



And there's Wisdom.



The glowing magical thing on my hand heals me fully. That's han-

Not even going to finish that.



The Ominous Cape stand there looking ominously.



Actually they are still very separate.



Yeah, you could not capture them.

Because you suck.

Did the whole "Triforce hates me" thing not put you off.



You didn't expect they would go to the bravest person and the wisest person in the land?

You and Navi should chat some time. I think you two would get along.



Yes. And two of them are here to kill you.



Actually I have successfully controlled my portion.

And they are not toys.



Hey, we all have the Triforce. If there was a Triforce club, you could sinus up.



And suddenly waves of darkness



You mean you're going to leave me?

SWEET!



This is going to be the best fight ever.



Ganon is looking very ominose.



He starts out by busting the floor.



Lightning powers go.



It's lightning ball ping-pong time.

Oh joy.



This is not the final battle I was expecting.



Blah blah blah ping pong is happening.



After a while he gets stunned and I can shoot him with a light arrow.

It's quite the light show.



Once he's shot I can whack whack whack all day long.



Ping Pong ensues.



He gets zapped and I run over to whack him. This is repeated in what is possibly the worst final battle ever.



Bap bap bap, chopping up some noses.



This is still a pretty trippy display of light.



I attempt to shoot him once more and discover I am out of errors

This is the first time this has ever happened to me, in the entire game.

TIMING



There should be arrows down here.



Ceramic demons, all of them.



Time to go.



I missed the screencap, but Old Nosey just punched the floor and knocked pieces of it out.

This just got interesting.



Yet another thing that makes me go PSCHOO when I see it.



I seem to have made some form of progress here.



Yes, I like this.

Kneel before Lonk.



NOT A KID

I AM A MAN



That's my name! Now choke on it and die!



And then he goes Pschoo as well.



The immediate area crumbles.



And then he was dead.



Zelda comes down from her crystal.



Pitiful and very full of nose



And he got stabbed in his stupid face



Suddenly, shit goes down



No really, the entire tower is collapsing.



What a dick



I think I should be the one doing the leading here.



ESCAPE MONTAGE



Oh, she can open doors with miracles or something

I guess she does get to lead.



GOTTA RUN

Room is bodaciously collapsing about my ears.



This is a terribly designed tower.



There is a ramp going all the way around. Seriously, who built this.



Oh no

I fell



It'll take more than gravity to stop Lonk!



And then Zelda was in fire.



STALFOS AGAIN

Still not worth screenshots



Zelda is free again, Stalfos are dead.



Time to continue!



We go down the stupidest ramp ever again.



We're going down down down down down...

I've started singing to amuse myself. I'm insane.



Oh god a redead this could not be a worse time for one of those



AHFGSJFG



I escape in time, remaining unmolested.



We've only got forty seconds!



ESCAPE IS MADE

VICTORY





Stuff starts collapsing.

Ganondorf was obviously holding up the whole tower.



And then the ramp comes down.

I told them it was a stupid ramp.



And then the entire tower telescopes in on itself.

That is one daisies convenient structural failure.



Everything is ruined. Ganondorf is beaten.

whee.



Yes, ruined.

I destroyed an entire tower. I am incredible.



You would have been more of a detriment than an assistance

I should stab you in the face



Something moved in the ruins

Better check this out



Investigation time

I was so looking forward to this being over, too.



Just got to poke around in the ruins a bit aaand...



woah shi-



Ganosedorf is still alive!

Hopefully I can get a better boss battle out of him.



Yes, we know you have the Triforce.

Stop showing off.



ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGONLONK Z

GANOSEDORF GOES SUPER SINUS



Oh god what

that is not a Dragonball Z reference



That is one hell of an ugly beast. I am going to love stabbing it in the face.



He knocked the Master Sword out of my hands.

That's not a good thing.



And it's firewall protected. Zelda, TOSS ME THE daisies SWORD

IT IS NOT THAT HARD



I AM SURROUNDED BY USELESSNESS



And useless is not a good thing to be surrounded by when I AM FIGHTING A GIANT PIG MONSTER



Alright Navi, I'll indulge you just once.

What is his weakness?



OH FUCK YOU



The obvious solution here is Light Arrow the hell out of it



And then I can move in with Biggoron's sword

It's methodical, but not a bad fight



I think I'm just going to summarize the fight.




pew pew pew




stab stab



One more stab for good measure



And then wrgahdga



Ganose goes down, temporarily



THROW IT TO ME YOU ROYAL IDIOT



Fine, I'll just do everything myself, how about that.



Time to continue

Now I have the Master Sword, so I can strike the final blow.



Unfortunately I am also running low on Health.



This could end badly for-



THE END

Ominous Cape is the best character.


I chuckled.




I am disappoint. Ganosedorf.


I lost.


I died so many times while fighting Ganose in the tower since I had no idea what I was doing and I sucked at launching his blasts back at him.

And then he always got me with those giant weapons when he was a pig thing.

Wh-OH SNAP.

Also, Super Sinus - LOOOOOST.

best ending

Okay.....not the ending I was expecting.

Touche, Lonk.

Touche.

This is what you get for disobeying my post-count requests

NEXT UPDATE: MAJORA'S MASK BEGINS

OH GOD ARE YOU PLANNING TO SET UP MAJORA'S MASK AS JUST SOME SORT OF COMA DREAM?

because that would be awesome.

Interesting ending.
Also looking forward to Majora's Mask.

Lonk ;-;






...Okay that was the best way to end the LP, not gonna lie.

man, i would be so rustled if i played this game back in the day and got to this end

MMMBUT BUT BUT


YOU DIDN'T GET TO SEE THE AWESOME CREDIT SEQUENCE


AND THE PART WHERE [spoiler]NAVI LEAVES FOREVER THUS STARTING THE ENTIRE REASON FOR MAJORA'S MASK[/spoiler]

the only reason he goes to termina is to score some ladies

Wait what?

What requests; I don't remember seeing that...







Oboy oboy oboy

Lonk hates Navi.
[spoiler]I think Majora's Mask will 8e set up as some sort of coma dream, and when it ends, Lonk will wake up and finish Ocarina of Time.[/spoiler]