AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i'm having a hard time imagining the mouths as 'staches

Me too, but only because I keep seeing their noses as tiny mouths.

You're thinking of telegraph.

And you're thinking of a telegraph message, as a telegraph is the device used for telegraphy.

Oh snap.

I'm a bit late, but I can't help but notice that only AFTER being turned into an very-christian angel does he believe that his religion is wrong.
How the hell do you manage to screw that one up!

Also, there's just no way you can go for a bath with an open wound and survive without waking up recoiling in pain. Not just from having your arms completely cut open, but from the fact that you then plunged them in water that someone has bathed in!

Also also, I think this is the first pro-gay... anything... that brought up an ACTUAL religion and not the typical strawman Unspecified Christian Religion.
....except she still uses it as a strawman religion and makes up its beliefs anyway, so I guess that's even worse.

Also also also, I love the way the jocks just decide to physically, and seriously, beat someone up solely for hanging around with a gay guy. Because that's totally how real people act, rite? You all remember that guy in school that would practically murder people at the drop of a hat, rite?

Actually, this is meant to be some sort of a "It's okay to be gay" educational book. I'm going to count up what it's taught us:

1: Making spontaneous quotes everyone's already heard before, no matter the context, is always funny.
2: Having a crush on someone you don't even know based entirely on their appearance is a-ok!
3: Despite only about a 5% chance, the guy you have a crush on will have the same sexual orientation as you.
4: And just so happens to have a crush on you too.
5: A public locker room, while shirtless, is the best place to make out! Nobody will have any qualms about it whatsoever!
6: Chinese are stoutly homophobic.
7: Catholics are stoutly homophobic.
8: Jocks are stoutly homophobic.
9: The Catholic Church teaches that god is stoutly homophobic. That's definitely the reason why they're against homosexualism.
10: Love and forgiveness has no place in the Catholic Church. If you do something bad, you're going straight to hell.
11: Chinese people move their children to the opposite side of the world if they do something they don't approve of.
12: Relationships don't need things like "Flirting" or "Getting to know your partner".
13: Going for a bath with open wounds is a great way to kill yourself and totally not incredibly incredibly painful.
14: Renaissance-era Christian artists were the ones right all along about the afterlife. It really is all about shirtless winged people with halos.
15: Dreams you get while unconscious are images of the afterlife and totally the best thing to base your religion on.
16: Making out with someone while you're still in love with someone else is perfectly okay.
17: Jocks are synonymous with Psychopathic Thugs.
18: Jocks have jackets with the letter "J" on them. No, that's not a uniform.
19: Jocks beat you up for merely being friends with a gay guy.
20: Jocks do not consider things like that if someone has previously beaten you up for bullying them, bullying the person you believe to be that guy's SO is not a very good idea.
21: Jocks regularly enter locker rooms for no reason whatsoever.
22: Jocks smoke.
23: If people are bullying you, the solution is to have a friend that can beat them up.
24: Said friend can definitely beat jocks up in a 3-to-1 fight.
25: Telegrams are the main method of communication.



Why did I waste half an hour making that list...

Bathing is supposed to be good for dying because it makes you bleed faster.

Doesn't water displace blood, or siphons it out or something?

I heard it had something to do with a hot bath making your viens expand.

Don't you see guys? The book is set in the 1950s! That would explain everything! The telegrams, the fucked up church, the Chinese, the massive homophobia, the unimportance of school, the fact that there is almost only one woman seen in the entire school at any given time, and lastly, the fucking dots that are everywhere!

That explains why he's so excited about that VCR

They won't be available for person use for another 13 years

Nah, it's not Old Timey enough to be set that far in the past. Everyone's dressed all modern, it involves suicide without being either critically banned or universally praised as a work of literature, and it's not in a grainy sepia-tone!

Damnit! I was so close to understanding the perplexing mysteries of this masterpiece

I'm considering waiting until all of the chapters have been posted, and then e-mailing a link to this thread to the comic creator.

I feel so much better about my writing now.