AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Have fun.

AAWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Once upon a time,
There was a little mime
Named Joe with a silent J O E.

He met a nice girl
Who made him want to hurl
Her name was Noisy Sally.

She didn't be quiet.
She nearly caused a riot
When Joe said "GO AWAY"

And he wasn't a mime anymore.

why do russian people like pho so much? because they're soviet

You are now officially... a dumbass!

You're the first person to point that out. You can has smart.

That's like the "One day I'm gonna run away and never come back, and when I com back, I'll be the Knife master."
Everyone's too distracted by the Knife master bit to understand the contradiction.

Once a campfire saw a nervous tent couple.

He told them:

"Relax, you're two tents."

What

I pointed that out a page ago

I even bolded the word "squeals" and asked if it was a zombie or something

That smart is mine, not his.

Butbut.
Can't you two split a smart, or something?

I mean, c'mon. I'm obviously not made of smart.

daisies. So the Smart Trees at Walmurt were scams?

Besides, I left all my smart in my other pants.

Q. What would happen if todays society was dominated by women?

A. The sandwich machine would be broken.

I'd like to believe in objective morality but I just Kant

What do you call a video of pedestrians?

[spoiler]Footage.[/spoiler]

I hear people who work for UPS have big packages

Found this one. Read all of it. I lost. It's called "A Girl's First Time"

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin’?