So I haven't updated in a while.
How about a quick recap?
That about does it!
Apparently everyone in my fortress is super-posh and utterly refuse to do work as long as there's a lousy peasant in sight! I say, poor show!
IT'S FIGHTAN... time?
Okay, this is like 5 seconds after the military find him.
Either Ame had god-like strength, or my military got a whole lot better at beating people up with crossbows!
Aaaand then he died without doing anything of interest.
LAAAAAME!
Hm. Word spreads really fast out in the barren openless! Considering the last contact from the outside world I had was back in the Autumn!
Also, that also means it's highly unlikely I'll be getting massive waves of immigrants again for some time.
Woo!
MORE BEDROOMS!
I can't even keep them on the one screen anymore.
Also, I do NOT want to know what is going on in those bedrooms on the left there...
I also progress downards with my digging! It's about time I continued exploring!
I'm 8 screenshots into the episode and I've already lost two more Dwarfs.
In good news, however, TRADERS! WOO!
I really should set up a kill-you-now trap for these guys one of these days.
TIME PASSES!
If you haven't been able to tell, time is largely immaterial in this game, outside of seasons and Dwarf intake. Normally it would also mean Goblin Sieges would be getting larger and larger, but... no goblins here bro.
FFFFFFFF-
Okay, I didn't screenshot it, but long story short:
The Broker/Accountant WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS decided that he had WAAAAY better things to do than go to the trading depot!
GODDAMNIT.... GUY!
(In completely unrelated matters, I may have possibly forgotten who my Broker/Accountant is)
The further I dig, the further things get pyschadelic!
PROGRESS!
Ah right. Every map on Dwarf Fortress has three layers of Caverns (well, you can actually specify how many you want, but default is three). They get progressively more dangerous as you go down.
And this one is filled with water!
daisies.
SIIIIIILK... actually, I never use silk. Supposedly it's really expensive and great for selling, but... meh.
Although it makes a good time to talk about Cave Spiders!
Dwarf Fortress is perhaps the only game where prefixing a monster's name with "cave" or "underground" doesn't mean it's far more powerful than a regular variation. Cave Spiders are still just ordinary vermin, only they produce a whole lotta webs! Webs are used for making silk, but stepping into them makes you get tangled up for a while. Cave Spiders are venomous, but only mildly so, and aren't a threat.
Giant Cave Spiders, however, will
seriously fuck your shit up! Their webs are MASSIVE and invisible until you step on them, the spiders themselves are strong and really hard to take down because they protect themselves with their legs, and they can spit poison which is a guaranteed paralysis, and later death!
Also, Giant Olms. They can easily take unarmed Dwarfs, but they're fun to fight. Well, if you can, but they're water dwellers, so you're probably not gonna be able to unless they're climbed up your staircase and into your fortress.
3D cavern. Yes, all caverns in this game are composed of 90% perfectly straight pillars. Don't ask me why.
In other matters: the horses are back...
GODDAMNIT HORSE HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE WHO LET A WILD HORSE INTO MY FARM?!
Well the good news is that Bunnytots finally learned how to pick up ammunition! The bad news is that HE'S USING STEEL BOLTS JUST TO KILL A HORSE! GODDAMNIT!
FFFFFFFFFF- NOT A GOOD TIME, MR GHOST!
And WHY IS IT ALWAYS POSSESSIONS WITH YOU LOT? I'LL NEVER GET (more than two) LEGENDARIES AT THIS RATE!
Aaaand now we wait until she goes insane too. Knowing my luck, I-
...or that.
...
GODDAMNIT YANIMAE YOU MADE ME MISS A GOOD EXCUSE FOR ADDED TENSION! COULDN'T YOU HAVE AT LEAST WAITED A WHILE BEFORE DOING ANYTHING?
Oh...
Oh that's just sad.
Bunnytots won't pick up a weapon because the thing he's trying to kill is nearby.
I mean, it's not like it's in the way, because it's a really timid horse that's scared out of it's mind. It's just... in the room.
PROGRESS!
Urist Frostglazes is the same queen that Mond made a figurine of, by the way.
It's also only worth about 1/5ths Mond's creation.
Although then again hers is just made of regular stone, whereas Mond's was made of IRON, CRAFTED WITH HIS BARE HANDS!
Hm. Yanimae encrusted siltstone with... siltstone.
She's not very bright, that Yanimae...
In other matters, I completely re-do whose in the military, because the last group was utterly retarded! Also, I gave them proper weapons this time! #1-5 get Iron Battleaxes (except for Bunnytots, who gets Steel), and #6-10 get Iron War Hammers.
FFFFFFF-
LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD! ALL OVER THE BEDROOMS!
THAT'S ALL FROM THE SAME HORSE AS BEFORE!
PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO BE SLEEPING TONIGHT!
LOOK! IT IS bodaciously COVERED IN BLOOD! IT'S BEEN SHOT TWICE AND STILL RUNNING EVERYWHERE!
OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD WHY IS IT NOT DYING?! THIS ISN'T LIKE AME'S RED TEXT, HIS WAS ALL BRUISES AND BROKEN FINGERS! THIS IS ONE SERIOUSLY MESSED UP HORSE!
And lawl, "a tiny scar". That's an understatement! And a fractured tail? Basically, the game doesn't realise horses' tails are made of hair, so...
Wait...
IT ONLY HAS ONE FOOT?!
IT HAS JUST ONE FOOT BUT IT IS STILL RUNNING AROUND FLIPPING EVERYWHERE, BEING ABSOLUTELY GIANT, SPRAYING BLOOD AND VOMIT WHEREVER IT GOES!
THIS IS THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES!
(
Kaytee is credit to team!)
I missed the screenshot, but it basically did not last long after this.
I think the only reason it was able to sustain that much damage without going unconcious was because it was gigantic, and thus had more HP, but it wasn't any thougher or resistant to attacks. I think, anyway.
The military decide to take it out their fears on the rest of the horses!
Also, because I ordered them to. I pretty much decided that I am so flipping fed up of horses constantly invading my fortress and spooking my Dwarfs that I decided to enact a complete cull on all horselife!
It... didn't work.
In other matters, I dug a little fortification into the cavern so that I can see in without anyone getting attacked by a Batman!
Fortifications are basically walls that you can see and shoot through.
And Batmen are less adapt at martial arts than you might think.
CAVERN #2!
Fortunately, this one isn't flooded with water like the first one was, so I can actually do stuff here!
Oh c'mon horses, can't I go five minutes without you invading me again?!
In other matters, MORE BABIES!
I forgot what I named it...
In
other other matters, I decided to try drain some of Cavern #1 into Cavern #2.
Although in actuality, that single little hole shouldn't be nearly enough to drain the entire cavern!
On the other hand, those single squiggly lines
do mean that it's doing something...
Um... guys? Don't you think it might be a good idea NOT to use your regular metal weapons when training? Especially considering you're not wearing any armour yet...
Ah screw it! You guys suck at defending the fortress from horses, I doubt you'll be able to kill each other anytime soon!
Huh. For some reason, my refuse pile has gotten so full with little insect corpses that I have to assign even more space!
I have no idea why insect corpses take up an entire square. Or why it's so important to have them all in an orderly heap in the first place! Just throw them out somewhere, damnit!
In other matters, Deiphobous (who, for some reason, had his nickname temporarily removed. Same thing happened to Ame, only his was worse because he died before I could change it back) now ALSO has a Legendary rank in mining! Woop!
Aaaanyway, there might not be another update for a while, because I want to finally finish my Pokemon Platinum LetsPlay first! So, on one last note...
Horses.
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