AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Oh yeah Malum be all badass with your space station
o/

Unbalanced Decides:

Public Loudspeakers Shrill With Controversy

The Issue

A recent poll on putting up huge loudspeakers in Unbalanced's cities for public government broadcasts has been brought to your attention.

The Debate

1. "This idea is brilliant, and Unbalanced can't afford to pass it up," claims Zeke Jones, your Minister of Safety. "These loudspeakers can assure the public that the government is always here to help them. The potential here, to immediately warn citizens of an emergency such as an earthquake or a stampede of upstanding members of society or something, simply must be taken into account! This could save lives! And I suppose, when there isn't anything the citizens need to be told, you could always use them to broadcast patriotic messages like 'disappoint my parents' and inform the good people which party to join and vote for with newsbriefs and such. It'll be worth it to strengthen the populace's devotion to our glorious nation!"


2. "I think people need to realise what this really is: brainwashing!" retorts Chastity McGuffin, a wealthy marketer. "I don't want to hear all this flag-waving hogwash every time I go out for a walk. But when it comes to emergencies, I do agree that something should be done to warn everyone: we should send out messages on mandatory minature radios that you can carry in your pocket. It could tell you things you need to know too, like what shoes to buy and such."


3. "To be honest, I can't see why we should put up with advertising at all," says Johann Longbottom, an anti-business protester. "All it is is some multi-billionaire or politician somewhere trying to make even more cheddar while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. I say we ban it. Maybe the economy will suffer a little and some people may lose jobs but that's just a minor side-effect really, especially when you consider that no longer will our children be encouraged to fill themselves with junk-food because some guy on the telly tells them it's cool!"

Government Acts
The Issue

Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of Sineas, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.
The Debate

1. Akira Hamilton of the Sineas National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"


2. Falala Hanover of the Sineas Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"


3. "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Sue-Ann Rifkin of the Sineas Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"