Hey kids, do you know what time it is? That's right, it's time for another GUEST TRAINER! More specifically,
Username!
...I really wish he picked a better user name than that.
What? Team Galactic are "impressionable"? OHLY CARP WHAT A SCOOP!
Wait, hey, are you allowed to do that? I mean, are you allowed to just
walk away from me?!
...
Goddam cutscene immobility!
I know it might not LOOK like I'm chasing after him...
...and that's because I'm not. I know well that no matter how fast I go, I'll never be able to catch up to him. Rather, no matter how soon I get there, I'll always be just in time!
I think I've played this game too much...
So now that my team are fully healed, let's do this again!
God, I hate mountains.
This flute is the most useful item in the entire goddam game!
....theoretically. In practice it's not very reliable...
Say, I have a question: how does the Black Flute work on Pokemon that can't hear?
Woo... ish. Well, I suppose I
will need it sooner or later, but these things are dirt cheap nowadays!
See, THAT'S something more worthwhile!
Oh awesome, a Rhydon! I still need to catch one of these guys! And evolve it, now that that's actually possible!
I hope I don't accidentally kill i-
...
...
...
FOR FUCK SAKE!
With that Rhydon dead, buried, and peed on, now's a good time to point out that this is actually a three-level cave. Well, it's more like two levels, because the third one is a teeny tiny room.
Oh NOW he arrives! Geez man, you would've been a lot more of a help back when there was bloody TROUBLE! I mean, what the heck were you even doing once you heard "there's trouble at the volcano"? Sit around and have a cup of tea for a moment before adventuring onwards?
And so we have the third Stat Trainer, but not the last (yes, despite being so far into the endgame there's STILL another partnership to go through). You better not be as bloody annoying as Riley was, because you sure ain't as hot as Cheryl!
When I said "ain't as hot as Cheryl", that's not exactly what I meant...
This is easy they are just snails!
Dude, I've had my booty handed to me by a
slug before!
Why the hell not?
Lickitung is only 3'11". I don't think he'd be physically capable of bringing BOTH of us down! ....even though I sure as hell would like to see it try!
Yes, considering that we beat a bunch of snails.
That were already on fire, might I add.
Its... its a Staravia. And that apparently beats everything?
Shiny!
What does a Calcium do again?
Boosts Special Attack. I know you don't care about things like that because your main Pokemon is a fucking Claydol! Even Riley's Pokemon had a better attack than yours, and it's at a far lower level!
By winning do you mean lose? Hehehe.
Why... why would someone go to the training area AFTER beating the Battle Tower? IT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh no! Wait what?
Apparently a Pokemon based off of a boombox... with giant ears... can't actually hear.,,
But hey, at least it's true to it's nature of what boomboxes do: MAKE YOU DEAF!
FFFFF- I STILL hate defensive moves like this! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A TRUE MAN! ...errr, I mean, LIKE A TRUE FEMALE PUFFBALL!
Killed... by an overdefensive puffball... I am truly ashamed of myself.
....buut apparently I'm not the only one to have a Pokemon beaten by a PANK ball of lard! HA!
Geez, what is it with these Pokemon that, should in all fairness be really weak, putting up a huge fight? I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that the Pokemon coloured PANK are the strongest of all!
Well that's... sorta PANK...
On the other hand, so was Roosevelt.
Naturally, my own Pokemon are the exception to the rule, apparently!
This town ain't big enough for the three of us!
I... think I've made too many jokes about my Gallade facing a female Gardevoir. No, seriously, I'm completely out of jokes!
Oh LAWD, I remember that move! Ah, that really takes me back!
Which brings into question
why a Level 59 Gardevoir has a move that a Level 22 Kirlia used...
D'awww, they just wanted to be alone!
Oh hey, I guess I wasn't out of jokes after all!
But... the Battle Tower doesn't let you keep your exp! And why would I even do that considering THIS is the main training area?! I've even got a buddy back here that seems to carry a Pokecenter in his pocket or something!
How did we get out here?
Well we could just climb that rock edge there if you had
bothered to bring a Pokemon with hands with you!
Protect is useless anyway!
Not when your opponent has it! God, so much wasted PP! And always when I decide to use the 5PP Drain Punch instead of Psycho Cut!
No its not!
Don't dragons at volcanoes always end up DYING by heroes in those old stories?!
Okay, that? That is DEFINITELY NOT A DRAGON! THAT IS A MUTATION, A HORRIBLE MUTATION!
They both are horrible mutations.
Okay, that's getting a
little better, but it's still more of a shark than a dragon.
HOLY CRAP, an ACTUAL dragon in this game! Wow, I guess there's a first for everything!
What kind of Dragon breathes water instead of fire?
Suuuure they do! I'm sure they just LOVE fighting to the death (or, at least, until fainting) inside a boiling hot VOLCANO! Yeah, totallu!
I hate it here!
That explains why you were more than content at just hanging around in a patch of mud when I found you earlier...
It's... a... dandelion.
I am fighting a dandelion.
Inside a volcano.
These Pokemon are getting lamer by the minute!
Can't you just kill it by blowing air next to it?
Err...
were getting lamer. Because nobody can hate on AMPHAROS! Because it's AMPHAROS!
What the heck
is AMPHAROS anyway? I mean, it evolves from a sheep, but... it... looks nothing like a sheep.
Of course, it's still utterly adorable anyway! I guess that's what happens when you're an AMPHAROS!
Looks like a cross between a pikachu and a sheep.
How is it rare? I find these all the time!
I STILL haven't actually done anything with the ones that I've amassed! I'm beginning to suspect Rare Candies are actually just sweets that have been lightly cooked.
End of an era, folks! I have finally given up on Drain Punch! I was meaning to AGES ago, as it's only a 60-power move, but simply could not find a move to replace it!
This truly deserves a good ol' fashioned WOOTINARY!
WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!
They better they raped my poor Pokemon.
How the hell am I meant to know? I mean, it's just a bloody cave entrance, I can't see anything special about it!
Heck, there's not even parts of a broken sign around that normally signify their presence!
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