AWKWARD ZOMBIE

WOLVERIIIIIIINE!

Watching you fail is hilarious.

Oh. Then continue on. If you're pop flyin', your back is turned to my plo- I mean I'm pop flyin'!

Correction sir, it is your back that is turned to my blade.

But I'm not darkin. You are.

>'Yes, we do have a QUEST for you, actually. Some strange DEMON seems to have STOLEN our MAGNIFICENTLY AWESOME CHURCH BELL OF BADASSERY."



>"Why, yes we are."
>The MONKS unsheathe their ROCKET LAUNCHERS and KATANAS.



>"I can summon ZOMBEES."
>Your LOVE FOR ALICE has INCREASED TEN-FOLD.



>You ask about any possible REWARDS for the MAGNIFICENTLY AWESOME CHURCH BELL OF BADASSERY. They tell you that by RECOVERING the MAGNIFICENTLY AWESOME CHURCH BELL OF BADASSERY, you will RECEIVE a PROFIT if ONE BILLION DOLLARS and your CHOICE of either a SMALL CHIHUAHUA or CERBERUS.
>You ask for ANCIENT MONK WISDOM.
>"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
>You are UNSURE if the ADVICE is BADASS or just PLAIN STUPID.



>You NOD to ALICE, and she SUMMONS a HOARD of ZOMBEES. You use your NINJA SKI-ZILLS to STEAL a ROCKET LAUNCHER. You AIM IT at the MONKS.
>The MONKS now WORSHIP you as if you were a DEITY.



>ALICE says she'd rather not, as she's SELF-CONSCIOUS.



>You are about to have a CONGRATULATORY MASTURBATION SESSION, when you remember that ALICE is NEXT TO YOU, and you really don't want to MAKE HER THINK LESS of you.



>lolno.

But yes, but if I was Darkin, I would be dead by now. seeing as I am not dead, I am not Darkin, nor Alexandy.

I will now call myself Odds.

>Ask monks where which direction the demon went.

>"Borrow" A battle monk badger call and summon your badgers

>Order them to clean up the place before you get back

>While you are still with the monks take one of their katanas and mount it on top of your rocket launcher or make your rocket launcher shoot katanas. Either one.

> Go look for the church bell
> On the way, have a deep, meaningful conversation with your hand.

>They point at the CHURCH.
>You TACKLE a MONK and take a BATTLE MONK BADGER CALL™.
>You order the BADGERS to CLEAN UP THE PLACE. They look SAD, but you DON'T GIVE A SHIT.



>You have acquired 1 KATANA LAUNCHER. +2000 BADASSERY.



>You and ALICE head toward the CHURCH DOORS.
>You look at your RIGHT HAND, whom you have DUBBED MR. HANDY. He has been SO LONELY since you MET ALICE. You turn to ALICE and aks for a DRY ERASE MARKER.
>She SNAPS her FINGERS, and a LARGE CYCLONE OF BEES form into the SHAPE of a DRY ERASE MARKER.
>You have ACQUIRED 1 DRY BEE-RASE MARKER.
>You DRAW a FACE on MR. HANDY.
>"Hello, good friend," you say.
>"Oh, so now you notice me? I see how it is!"
>"No, MR. HANDY, it's not like that!"
>"Oh, really?" asks MR. HANDY, obviously not BELIEVING YOU.
>"Yes really!" you reply, nodding EMPHATICALLY. "It's a REAL, BREATHING WOMAN. And she CONTROLS BEES."
>"A woman?" MR. HANDY asks for CONFIRMATION. "As in a BREAST-LADEN HUMAN?"
>"Yes!"
>"I'm so PROUD of you, buddy."
>You shed a single tear. "Thank you," you say.

>You suddenly REALIZE that ALICE has been staring at you the WHOLE TIME. You feel VERY EMBARRASSED.
>ALICE then shows you her RIGHT HAND, also with a FACE. She INTRODUCES her HAND as MS. FIST. MR. HANDY and MS. FIST proceed to MAKE OUT.

Oh...
Oh dear Lord.

I lost





> Continue on your adventure.
> Fight demon

> Banana phoooooone

>Make more bee puns
>Continue adventure