AWKWARD ZOMBIE

> Take Alice to your LAIR
> Start working on making it cooler
> Go out and find Super Villain costumes

>Have sex with everything.

>Find a way to turn the the ridiculous-ness of the current story to a point where it actually gets clever again and not just random.

>Try to detemine the actual intent of the narrator and their idea of how the story would go.

>Go back to page 1.

>suddenly realize you are in a fantasy world.
>wake up from fantasy.
>examine surroundings.

Methinks we should wait for Narwhal.

> Don't do that, you were about to become a super villain, and have an attractive side kick, with three less attractive but still quite handsome badger minions!

> dance until the next update

>You PONDER for a while, wondering just what kind of BADASS VILLAIN names you could have for ALICE. You eventually set on THE DUKE OF BADGERINGTON, and call ALICE the SUPER HO. Delighted with your brand new SUPER VILLAIN NAMES, you both DANCE.



>You ATTEMPT to find an exit so that you and SUPER HO might get some DRINKS. After SEVERAL HOURS of WANDERING AIMLESSLY, you and SUPER HO find yourselves in AISLE ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE. You are now MORE LOST THAN EVER BEFORE.



>If only you could FIND YOUR WAY OUT.



>Public FORNICATION is FROWNED UPON here in the BAT SHACK.



>You LAUGH silently to yourself when you think how this STORY could ever have been CLEVER. You suddenly REALIZE that you are BREAKING the FOURTH WALL, and promptly SHUT UP.



>The NARRATOR has no INTENT for the STORY, as it is ENTIRELY READER-DRIVEN.



>You ponder WAKING UP for your FANTASY REALITY, but UNDERSTAND that your CURRENT REALITY is TOO BADASS to WAKE UP from. SUPER HO looks at you and INQUIRES as to what is TROUBLING you. Just as you are about to answer, THE BADGERS COME BACK with some sort of crazy BUTTON.
>Curious, you PRESS the BUTTON, as it looks very PRESSABLE. Who knows what could happen?
>There is a very BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT. You PASS OUT.


>You WAKE UP to find yourself in a CLEARING surrounded by LARGE TREES. ALICE and THE BADGERS are UNCONSCIOUS beside you. To your LEFT is a CAMPFIRE, to your RIGHT there is a TENT. In front of the TENT sits a CRAZY OLD MAN. He is staring at you with his LAZY EYE. It is really starting to CREEP YOU THE FUCK OUT.
>Exits are NORTH, and SOUTH

> Inventory

>Punch the old man in his old face

> Ask the Old man if he knows of any cities or towns that are nearby to conquer.
> Get on a buss, and return back to your LAIR

...wut?


>Find a bus.

Goddamnit I can't believe I still do that


even with spellcheck