AWKWARD ZOMBIE

>Burn another unicorn fart to impress the cute clerk.
>do so in a MANLY and HARD-BOILED manner.

> it was a dude remember
> find a random girl on the street to impress with your farts

Or you could impress Batman with your farts

>Impress the clerk and a random girl. MANLY AND HARD-BOILED

Hey! burning things in my thing!
> take along a few balloons. They may come in handy
> Dance
> Make zombies
> become zombie
> lead zombie in dance
> ingnore previous four actions

>You think to take along some BALLOONS when you remember that they're already in your INVENTORY. You then think to MAKE ZOMBIES and BECOME one yourself, and DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY. But you soon realize that that is a terribly SILLY IDEA.



>After a brief VOICE ARGUMENT, which has become so COMMON that you are learning to IGNORE it, you decide to burn yet another UNICORN FART to impress the CUTE CLERK from earlier.
>You remember that the CUTE CLERK was actually a MALE and that he worked at the GROCERY STORE, which is QUITE A WAYS AWAY.
>You instead wait for a RANDOM GIRL to walk by.
>After waiting for TWENTY MINUTES, a CUTE BLONDE walks by. Just as she PASSES IN FRONT OF YOU, you STRIKE another MATCH.
>There is YET ANOTHER PRETTY EXPLOSION. The CUTE BLONDE is SMITTEN with your ACTIONS.
>The CUTE BLONDE introduces herself as ALICE.

>Woo Alice with your MANLY charms.

> Put Alice in INVENTORY
> Wait for badgers to return
> Fuck bitches
> Make cheddar

> Show ALICE your large, rippling muscles.


> Ask if she wants to be your SIDEKICK
> If she refuses, threaten to shoot her with a LAZER

>ask zom tos to join

>Ask Alice if she would fancy a beverage

> Pop a balloon with the matches to impress Alice.

>You look ALICE in the eyes, in a VERY MANLY manner. She looks back at you QUIZZICALLY.
>You wish you had a BEAR to WRESTLE.



>ALICE is much too big to fit in your pocket.
>TED, SUSAN, and SUSAN will not return for... a bit.
>PUBLIC INTERCOURSE is FROWNED UPON in this TOWN, believe it or not.
>In order to MAKE cheddar, you must first HAVE cheddar.



>You RIP OFF your SHIRT, and show ALICE your RIPPLING MUSCLES.
>You suddenly REMEMBER that you haven't WORKED OUT in AGES. YOU look like that NERDY KID who ATE PASTE.
>ALICE begins to LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY, and says she LIKES YOU.
>That didn't work out the way you EXPECTED, but hey, what does?
>You ask ALICE to be your TRUSTY SIDEKICK. She SQUEALS with the GLEE of a YOUNG SCHOOLGIRL, and HEARTILY AGREES.



>ZOM-TOS doesn't exist in this REALITY. Maybe AISLE THIRTEEN can fix that.



>She says she certainly does FANCY a BEVERAGE.



>ALICE loves the SOUND of POPPING BALLOONS.

> think up awesome villian name for yourself
> thing up awesome villian name for Alice
> Dance

>Find a decent bar

>Order yourself & Alice drinks