Torizo wrote:
Bacon wrote:
"My writing is such utter shit. I'm writing something with multiple chapters and it's just getting increasingly worse. I am such an utter failure as a writer."
I WILL HELP YOU WITH THIS. WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO... IS WRITE FROM THE HEART. AND TO DO THIS, I WILL BE MAKING AN INSPIRATIONAL STORY STARRING TRYGVE AND FOO AND THE PROBLEMS THEY ARE CURRENTLY FACING.
After slaughtering countless enemies, Trygve the Viking was tired. Usually he would come home and drink ale from his favorite cup fashioned from the skull of one of his victims.
But not today.
For some reason, Trygve needed a special something to help him fell better. Suddenly, a light in his head flickered on and he shouted with glee, "I'll go see the wizard Torizo!" He hopped up from his sofa and thundered toward the door, bursting through it and leaving it in splinters behind him.
Meanwhile, not too far away, another young man by the name of Foo was standing on the side of the road, mumbling incoherently. Foo was starting sullenly at his kangaroo, which had broken down on the side of the road. He rolled up his pants and extended his leg into the street, hoping that a kind soul would drive by and scoop him up. Just as he began presenting his delicate leg, Trygve thundered by, crashing into Foo and blasting his leg into tiny pieces.
"Augh! It's broken! It's in pieces!" Foo screamed in horror.
Trygve turned to see the damage he had wrought and cried, "sir! Sir are you alright?"
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- NO!"
"Here, let me take you to-"
"NO, I JUST WANT MY LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG."
Trygve looked around him and saw that that was probably not going to happen. Then, he had another amazing idea!
"I know! I'll take you to see the wizard Torizo with me," he shouted with glee.
"FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU."
But Trygve grabbed Foo and flung him over his shoulder anyways.
They carried on for several days and nights as they made their way to the city where the wizard supposedly lived. Foo was miraculously still able to function and hadn't died of blood loss. When they finally arrived, they stared up in wonder at the city lights against a dark night sky. They wandered through the streets, until they saw several crudely spray painted arrows that claimed to lead in the wizard's direction.
"Don't worry Foo, we're almost there, you'll get your leg back soon."
"You're a terrible kangaroo."
"What's that?"
"M-my cat!"
"Your what?"
Sure enough, Foo's cat was sitting calmly in front of them. The arrows were gone, but this cat seemed to beckon them. They followed him through a vast maze of alleys until they finally reached a dead end, with a single cardboard box.
Trygve looked down at the cat disdainfully. "Kitty, this isn't where the wizard-"
"GET OFF MY PORCH!" A ragged figure screeched as it popped out of the box.
Trygve backed away slowly, "ah, I'm sorry to wake you, really, but uh, if you could direct us in the way to wizard Tor-"
"I AM WIZARD TORIZO, AND THIS IS FOO'S SILLY CAT THAT HAS RAN INTO TOO MANY WALLS," the perturbed hobo stated.
"Wh-what? Really?!"
"YES."
"Uh- could you help us, then?"
"I. AM. A. HOBO." Torizo screeched again as she kicked both Trygve and Foo into another solar system.
Several hours passed until the two woke up from their sleep. They seemed to be on some alien planet.
Foo spat space dust out of his mouth and glared at Trygve, "well some good your 'wizard' was."
"Wait, Foo, look!"
Suddenly, a hoard of aliens burst forth from the ground. They were shaped like human legs! One of the beasts hopped over to Foo and attached itself to where his leg once was.
"My leg! My leg! It's back!"
Foo danced with joy as he finally got what he really wanted. Trygve smiled, realizing that he got what he wanted too. He didn't need to feel fulfilled by some magical power, he felt pop flyin' just by helping someone and making a friend. Maybe the wizard Torizo really was magical after all.
Nah.
AND THEN THE ALIENS ATE THEM.
FIN.
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