...
Now I've seen everything!
Also, sorry for the big delay there, I had exams to do. And I got involved in a new project that'll be surfacing soon.
Tip: it involves Stalin! And world conquoring!
Alright, lets get them Legendaries! For reals this time!
The one thing I like about Route 227 is that there's hardly any long grass in the place! Makes it a whole lot easier to get through!
So you remember this place, right? This is the place I skipped when I was last passing through here. Because I'm a lazy bast that way!
Man, being a Spy in a Pokemon game must be the easiest thing ever! I mean, this is outright ridiculous!
FFFFFFF- WHY DOES MCPANTS KEEP POPPING UP EVERYWHERE?!
WE ALREADY DID THIS SUBPLOT!
Ummm.... sure. Why not.
I'd like to point out that my average team level is still less than 50 here.
I'd also like to point out that I DON'T GIVE A daisies HOW MISERABLE MY POKEMON GET!
Wait... did
Crasher Wake just say that making your Pokemon miserable is 'an exciting prospect'?
I think I like this guy!
I think this game is trying to hint at something. Something about "tournaments"...
So nice to see him bothering someone else for a change.
Anyway, ONWARDS! TO... this... house at the bottom of a volcano?
A volcano, might I add, that's erupting ash constantly.
Ugh, I'm not gonna even think about it...
Hmm... old lady, living alone, over-eager to get me to go to sleep in her house...
Nope, can't see anything wrong with that! FREE HEALING WOO!
...I mean, aside from that all PokeCenter healing is free anyway...
I... I just did!
Okay,
now you're getting creepy!
Did... did she really just say that?!
AAAH I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!
Y'know, I never figured out what this dark brown stuff was meant to represent. My first guess would be dirt, but dirt is rarely that dark - especially when it's being covered with ASH!
And on that note, why IS there falling ash? This is a clearly dormant volcano!
Aaand it's Buck! Hi, Buck! What brings you here?
No, I mean what brings you to this little patch of space. The only way across is by cycling, and I haven't seen anyone else with a bike yet!
Except for those cycling dudes WAAAY back!
Say, have I mentioned that I utterly hate mountains?
In every conceivable way?
Seriously, if I was god, the planet would be completely flat!
Except for women!
But... we already have an item that evolves Magmar...
Oh right, you want me to destroy the stone to wake up the Pokemon, right? I mean, nobody would be so cruel as to put it in an eternal sleep on purpose... right?
CURSE YOU OLIMAR! THAT PART WAS NOT PART OF YOUR SPACESHIP!
Charcoal. Boosts fire moves. Entirely useless to me right now!
Y'know, this is probably the first time I ever played a Pokemon game without a fire Pokemon on my team! Strange!
Oh... gee... another Zinc... haven't seen dozens of those already!
Wait, why am I criticising these things in the first place? These things are ALWAYS useful!
I really wish they'd learn to stop using really really creepy enquiries as battle introductions. It's not cute, damnit!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
THAT'S THE BIGGEST SNAKE I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE!
Err... I mean Second biggest. Yeah.
Aaaand that was outright pathetic!
What is it with this trainer and Pokemon with knives on them?
Oh yeah, and I hate Absol. Well, aside from that I hate Dark Pokemon in general, I've always had really painful encounters with this thing.
Even if it is the only asymmetrical Pokemon in the game!
See? Nothing but bad encounters!
Bad encounters are no match for FIST FIGHTS!
KITTEN PUNCHING!
Aaand now I'm back at the start of the cliff thing.
I probably should've thought this through...
Look, I don't care WHAT she does when I'm asleep, it's still worth the extra healing!
Y'know, this game reminds me of that game where you get healing from prostitutes. What was it called again....
Oh yeah, Zelda 2!
Anyway, ONWARDS! TO... umm... possibly a hideously painful burning death in the volcano's eruption.
That... sounds like an ADVENTURE!
ADVENTURE HO!
I'm too awesome for stairs!
Life Orb. Ironically, its effect is self-damaging!
More specifically, its effect is that it powers up all attacks by 30%, but also results in the user losing 10% of its Max HP every time it attacks. Making it a VERY useful item in competitive play! Especially on a sweeper Pokemon. But for regular singleplayer, well... lets just say that dying automatically after 10 turns is not a very good thing to have.
Max Elixir, however, is rarely useful at all.
Observant, aren't they. They manage to spot a mountain!
By the way, what the hell is with all that lava there?!
FORESHADOWING!
I like how they actually have a sign up saying that the inside of a volcano is an eruption zone! Brilliant!
NEXT EPISODE: fighting Team Magma! Err, I mean Galactic. God, the story is so unoriginal that they're even ripping off their older games now!
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