AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Still incredibly dialog heavy.
What ever you are righting should not be as dialog heavy as that. Needs some kind of action or movement or really anything other than those small snippets that you put in.

Zang, I'm sorry, but you just suck.

Chapter are more than five lines. Your dialogue is shit, and there's too much. Use fucking punctuation. Spell. Just.

Just stop.

I'm feeling as if now would be a very bad time to post a short story with all these comments going on.

Tales post your story. What is it about?

it's going to be a bloody comic, how much action can there be at the beginning of the story?

Right now I only have an idea - I haven't actually wrote anything yet. I was just going to do a more sort of normal setting rather than fantasy as I think if you do fantasy then it's easy to jump right into the fantasy. But then again, this is the short stories thread, so maybe I should, dunno yet.

I'm usually not this much of a bitch. I'll be nice to you.



And Zang, if it's a fucking comic, why are you writing? Just draw it, jfc.

People move. Describe where they are, what they are doing. Dialogue is not important.

A proper writer can express more with description than dialogue.

I'm throwing the idea out, so When i make the comic, the entire thing wont be garbage that no one likes

if I hadn't done this in the first place I would've ended up making that KH rip off for a comic; there would've been all that work for nothing

and cussing me out isn't exactly what i call "critique"

Too be quite honest your art isn't good at all.

So...

If you wanna chill with us

don't cuss

I said don't cuss

I SAID STOP FUCKING CUSSING, YOU BITCH!

if your talking about my writing, i know

if your talking about my drawings, I've had alot of people tell me differently...

Tough crowd.

amen.