AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Maybe fiddle with the dialogue. It doesn't really sound very natural. Or maybe just put some more in. One guy monolguing to himself can get tiring quickly.

When you say "put some more in," do you mean fleshing out what's already there, adding more scenes, or both?

I meant fleshing out the existing dialogue, but adding more scenes is always good, if you can work them in.

Recently I've a a surge of creativity and and have a few pages of stuff hastily jotted down on some notebook pages and I'm trying to decide if I should type it up and post it here or not.

What I've got in my mind is sort of tongue-in-cheek story based off all media of science fiction. It takes place in a corporately owned solar-system known as "The Milky Way as brought to you by SpaceCorp." and follows the tribulations of a misanthropic scientist after a terrible combination 'scheduled maintenance' and space-mercenaries riding space-dragons leave everyone in his space station dead besides him.

Can't tell if this idea is great or awful. Anyone want to give an opinion on my concept?

okay, i've been working on my idea that was really a copy right violation in disguise- here's the intro to my soon to be comic-


"I don't know...I mean, we were never able to find it before, why do you think we'll find it now?"
It was Coran, a red head with a terrible cowlick on the right side of his head.
"Because, this time I happen to have a certain 'advantage'" said Zang with a smirk.
Zang was usually getting himself into trouble, he was mischievous and always seemed to have some sort of plan as a kid, he was fifteen now however, as was Coran and Flora.
Zang had brown hair and always seemed to have a tiny
cowlick sticking up on the back of his head. between he, Coran, and their friend Flora, a brunette who tried her best to keep them out of trouble, the village had their hands full. It was a small forest town at the south west end of the kingdom.
"Wait....you Didn't..." said Flora, hoping Zang hadn't...
"Feel free to applaud" Zang said victoriously holding up the Elder's map.
"You realize he's going to skin you when he finds out you took his map"Flora commented.
"He's not going to find out, because I'm going to sneak it back before he notices"
"Riiight" Flora said, rolling her eyes
"Now..." Zang began, opening the map, "according to this, the Mana Tree is on the west side of the forest"
The Mana Tree was a legendary magical tree. It was said that whoever touched the tree would gain magic powers, however, it was said to be just a story. Granted, Zang didn't believe that part.
"You know we're not allowed on that side of the forest." Flora complained
"Well we've looked everywhere else! and guess where the one place we havn't looked is?" Zang said, raising his eyebrow.
"...The west side of the forest" Coran mumbled, looking towards it in wonder.
"Exactly" Zang said victoriously.
The trio head off into the west side of the forest, and wander in deeper and deeper until they come to a clearing. A pool of water with a minature island and a bridge of earth opening towards them. on the island was a giant tree, The Mana Tree, accompanied by a man standing in front of it, looking up at the tree. A cold feeling came upon them.
A black aura started to radiate from the man's hands. He aimed
both his palms at the ground in front of him, and black aura started to gather around a single spot. The three stood in complete silence, terrified of what they were witnessing. A pool of black aura was now on the ground, and a small beast crawled out of it, noticed the three and made a terrible shreaking sound. The man simply turned his head and went back to his work. A smirk crossed his face
The creature seemed to be turning into smoke, it lunged at Zang
Zang felt it taking over. Darkness was crawling up his arms and legs. It would be so easy...just to give in.. He thought, as the darkness spread up to his torso. "NO" Zang let out and started to struggle. the darkness stopped spreading. He could feel it pushing in, but he pushed it away. "Get...off.." the blackness started being forced away.
what was this power he felt."of.."
it was amazing, it was...
"ME" he said, as a white light flashed and killed of the darkness and made the man flinch, ruining the dark circle, and making it disappear
It was will.
The light seemed to slowly fade away. he felt different, stronger.
The man jerked towards them, he was enraged. "you..." he said,
pointing a finger at Zang. For the first time, they noticed the main had pointed ears and horns, both with black tips. his hair was white, and each hair seemed to have black tips as well."Your going to die for that" he said as a ball of black energy appeared in his hand, he hurled it towards Zang.
A man with black hair, wearing green leaped out of nowhere and deflected it with a glowing sword.
"You'll regret this.." the horned man said as he made a gesture at the ground, creating a black doorway, which he stepped into, and dissappeared.

I put a short story of mine up on dA :3

Mind you, it's short in the idea that it's less than a chapter long

Linkage

I made some comments on there; not that many though because I am a bad critic

Constructive criticism is always welcome

...no one commented on my story

I do not know how to comment on something that's supposed to be made into a comic.

comics =/= novels.

Graphic Novels =/= Novels

right, last time i posted an idea i got people saying "don't just post ideas" or "give us the full details" and so I did...

like, does it seemed rushed? is it a good way to introduce characters? is it too cliche? /ect.

This is an understatement.

Not to be a bitch, but it's really badly written. I just don't even want to critique it.