AWKWARD ZOMBIE

i died like five times already

I forded the river

At least Fleabag 3 died swiftly via drowning instead of being killed by those measles, hallucinations, dehydration, and starvation.

Yeah, once my wheel broke, I had no cheddar, one piece of clothing, and no food.

I was .5 miles from Oregon when this happened, but then, on what happens to be January 1, 1982, an Indian trades with me, I get a wheel for my last piece of clothing.

I then hit the move button and...
"You waited too long, you resorted to cannibalism and everybody died, sorry."


FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU


EDIT: Oh yeah, now I'm trying something.
I typed in some of the members of this forum (Plasma, Odds, Mr. Mander, Ame no Akai, and myself) to go on an expedition.

To be updated.


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UPDATE 1: I buy 2 oxen, spare tongues, spare axles, and spare wheels, 200 lbs of food, 10 clothing, and 20 bullets. I leave in May.

In the first step, it says I have no food and not enough clothes for everyone.

I try hunting.
"YOU HAVE NO BULLETS!"

5 steps later, Ame is complaining about the difficulty of the journey.

After crossing the first river, Odds falls under the wagon and breaks an arm. He then contradicts measles. Then Plasma gets a fever. THEN Ame needs to rest. SO I DO SO. Then it makes everybody even hungrier.

Apparently, Mr. Mander has been walking, because it says he doesn't want to anymore. He then suffers from hallucinations.

Ame no Akai dies. Mr. Mander is nearing death.

Odds dies. I reach the store. I actually get stuff. Wow, that started terribly.




UPDATE 2: After buying stuff, I rest in the fort.

PARTY STATUS: Plasma (Fine Health), Mr. Mander (Dead), Ame no Akai (Dead), Odds (Dead), supermario566 (Excellent Health)

Plasma eats poison berries, great. He then becomes exhausted. AND THEN WANTS TO TURN AROUND (what). Then he eats some more poison berries.

PLASMA: THE SUICIDAL TRAVELER.

Plasma then contracts cholera. Becomes more exhausted. Gets severe diarrhea, wants to turn around, suffers from hallucinations, gets a fever, repeat turning around, more hallucinations, more diarrhea, and finally reaches nearing death.

Then we reach the next fort.





UPDATE 3: Upon leaving the fort, Plasma contradicts cholera again. He complains moar, and breaks his arm. More exhaustion follows. Hallucinations then follow. Even more complaining, and etc.

PARTY STATUS: Ame no Akai, Odds, Mr. Mander (all dead), Plasma (Bad Health), supermario566 (Excellent Health)

Finally, we run out of food, the oxen and Plasma are now thirsty.

So I try more hunting. Wow, deer are fast.

So I exchange a wagon tongue for 200 lbs of food.

Plasma is now nearing death. I decide to rest.

Plasma is apparently walking too, because he complains about walking. He then gets measles. And one of my oxen die.

More complaining from Plasma, he's now nearing death again. Then finally dies.

I reach the South Pass.

PARTY STATUS: Everyone else (Dead), supermario566 (Fair Health)





UPDATE 4: After lots of walking, I begin to suffer from hallucinations. I then complain when nobody can hear me.

I reach a river, I try to caulk the wagon. I lose 152 bullets I don't have.

I now don't feel well. I decide to rest.

3 steps later, I develop cholera. I then eat some poison berries, and reach the soda springs, there I rest some more.

I reach a fort. I spend over half my cheddar on clothes I didn't need to buy, (I meant to buy food, because I had none, I now am the proud owner of 5 lbs of food.) and rest.





(NOT THE LAST UPDATE) 5: I have no food, and people ask for stuff I don't have. I then catch a fever. Geez, this sucks.

A while later, somebody finally gives me a good trade, 200lbs of food for my wagon tongue. I accept.

I complain moar, and then, I, the leader of the journey, want to TURN AROUND. Oh, and an oxen died. PERFECT.

I reach Snake River Crossing, I decide to hire Indians to help me for 5 sets of clothes.

I then break my arm after falling under the wagon. I also become exhausted and begin vomiting blood. If that's not bad enough, I catch measles and am almost dead. THEN MY AXLE BREAKS.

After fixing the axle, I continue. Fortunately, there's a fort in front of me. I rest.





(THE LAST UPDATE) 6: BLAH BLAH EXHAUSTION, CHOLERA, NOT FEELING WELL, ETC.

AND THEN ON TOP OF CHOLERA, MEASLES. PERFECT. AND EVEN BETTER! SEVERE DIARRHEA. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. AND THAT'S NOT ALL. WE'LL THROW IN A FREE ORDER OF A FEVER, ABSOLUTELY FREE.

4 sicknesses at once + dehydration = bad, right?

Oh god, chainsaw man! Oh wait, good, he was a hallucination...

Dysentery? What the hell is that?

And now I need to rest, so I follow my orders.

EVEN MORE DISEASE AND COMPLAINTS. EVEN THOUGH NOBODY ELSE IS WITH ME OH JOY.

More resting and severe diarrhea later, I'm basically Plasma, but I'm living longer.

I then have 2 complaints in 2 steps, a new record!

Then MEASLES! OH BOY! AND THEN I EAT STRANGE POISON LOOKING BERRIES AND GET EVEN MORE SICK.

Another axle breaks, and I need more rest. So I repair and sleep.

After eating more berries and breaking my arm for the hundredth time, my oxen have no grass.

I can now see Oregon. I still have HORRIBLE health though, so yeah.

I now believe Oregon is a hallucination. Why? I'm suffering from them.

After 3 steps of no food and more cholera, I finally reach the "near dead" mark. I am a step away from Oregon.

As soon as I click to continue, At 1995 miles, an in game STEP away from Oregon, I die. So basically, this was:

"WHERE DID ALL THE FOOD GO OH WELL 3 PEOPLE DIED."
"PLASMA STOP EATING THE BERRIES AND TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF, OH WAIT, NEVERMIND"
"I'M FREAKIN' TIRED OF THIS I WANT TO GO HOME ALREADY."
"YES I SEE OREGON! I'M A STEP AWAY! *dies*"

And this was the Awkward Zombie Westward trail adventure.

FINAL PARTY STATUS:
Plasma (Dead of Suicide)
Ame no Akai (Dead of Hunger)
Odds (Dead of Hunger)
Mr. Mander (Dead of Hunger)
supermario566 (Dead of being a step away from the goal)

Oh, that sounds like it's going to be awsome. Someone should totally draw a comic for it in the end. =3

So just draw some skeletons?

We went west

And then we died.
The end

Wait, if you resorted to channibalism, then how did you die?

We eat chans?

I am going to die of every disease ever.

Different spelling here... Darn our Engwish!

I tried it, two seconds in I had run out of food.

What the hell?

HERE'S THE ADVENTURE IN CONVENIENT QUOTES.













WELL THAT WAS FUN AND EVERYBODY DIED OH JOY.



Oh my god yes.

If you had named one of them after me he would have definitely survived unlike those wimps.