AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Great job.

That what I be talking about, bee-otch

However, it is cooler than the way I was saying it.

FUCK YOU BALTIMORE

Bring your wife!
We'll fuck her!
That's right

WE'LL FUCK YOUR WIFE

That advertisement isn't stupid.

It's fucking hilarious.

There's some Pennzoil commercial, about how it cleans the engine of gunk or whatever.

Now I don't claim to be a mechanic, but it looks to me as if the engine is sideways. As in, the crankshaft is going perpendicular to the direction of motion.

AHhahahaa Def. My sister thought that commercial was hilariously bad too.

But her description about it could definitely never top what happened there in your post.

That wasn't a post, it was an article

That was fucking epic, Def.

Speaking of stupid security system commercials, I think the one I'm refering to is even for the same company.

I don't remember the beginning to well, except that there is a very similar, stereotypical white women. Whatever happens in the beginning happens (I think she waves her husband off to work? or maybe she sees her daughter leave for school?), and the woman is about to go back inside when she sees...

HOLY SHIT, A GUY JOGGING!

But he's not important. (Or is he?) The woman does what every white housewife should do and gets her booty back to the kitchen where she starts doing the dishes.

AND THEN IT HAPPENS! The jogging man, deciding broad daylight when he has shown his face to the woman and is wearing a recognizable grey jogging outfit, pulls his hood up, and charges towards the door he just saw the woman close.

And just like the other buglar, this door is termite-ridden and breaks down with one (I'm not kidding) flying, jumping karate kick from his mighty feet.

Jogging. It will let you bust into whatever fucking house you want.

Despite being in the house, not to mention, RIGHT NEAR THE FUCKING DOOR (there is a later shot of her standing around the corner with the phone, as the now doorless frame mocks her stupidity in the background), middle-America house wife has the alarm set. Landing his awesome karate door kick perfectly, the man and woman both hear the alarm. The woman, being a fragile, weak little thing without her husband to protect, drops the plate she was washing in fear, smashing it all over the floor and creating more of a hazard for herself if she even actually had to run away. The burgular, however, without showing any fear...

decides to just fucking book it out the door and jog away like he was earlier.

But fear not, the woman won't have to deal with the draft coming in from the hole where her door once was or the shards of glass all over the floor because of her own retardation, as the security center phones her (I swear to god, it's even the same guy phoning her - I guess he hooks up with all the ladies) and asks if she's okay. Practically crying, despite looking and seeing the only thing she has to fear is air borne allergies possibly being blown into her home and her feet if she steps on the glass shards she caused, the woman tearfully says "I DON'T KNOW IF I'M OKAY, SOMEONE JUST TRIED TO BREAK IN!"

Security-seducer pulls his magic by saying he will now dispatch police to the house, and the woman suddenly sobers up and thanks him for saving her.

And that's the end. It goes through the same example bullshit as the one at the end of Def's commercial, and I distinctly remember those blue waves spewing from the alarm to simulate security.

I love stupid commercials.

Although as stupid as they are, they do the job. People remember them long afterwards, which is the point.

Remember the Popeyes chicken commercial with Annie the Chicken Lady?
I lol'd so hard the first time I saw it.

No, no. One to top them all were those damned Quizno's Subs rat-things. I swear that's what their meat was made of. O_o

I remember seeing a flash thing on Ebaums years ago of those things.
Thank God Quizno's used Tie Domi and Don Cherry to sell their subs to Canadians instead of those...things.

Hey, don't mock Quiznos. They beat the pants off of Subway.

might not be stupid but its weird
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90ES9XnZrhY