AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Yea, Overwatch ranking is screwy. Last season I won 8/10 of my placements with my friends. They all earned about 200 from what they were the previous season and I lost 200. I was even lower rank than them, so if anything they should have been the ones to lose rank. Then this season I only won 4/10 and only lost about 40 points.

Sounds like it's taking into account performance metrics in placement matches.

You know how in Civilization V (and maybe the new one? haven't played it) when you're doing really awesome at the game, your allies will start hitting you up for cash and you can't really say no because then YOU'RE the asshole? That's happening to me in real life, except instead of Alexander the Great it's my mother. And instead of being really awesome I'm barely breaking even after each paycheck.

my friend accidentally took my 3ds charger home after our vacation together, so they mailed it back to me.

i just cut the cord in half while opening the package

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

how is this a mild annoyance

easily ruin a week for me

well they only cost like $5 to replace and i have amazon prime

Some of the neighbors' kids (judging by the small human teeth marks on a tragically green strawberry) got into my plants while I was gone today and ate half a dozen berries that I was waiting until this afternoon to pick when they were going to be perfectly ripe :c

a few months after i got married we bought a satsuma tree and it made a fuckton of fruit much to our surprised and we were so excited to pick them and then one day we went out and came back and all of them were picked off the tree. a neighbour told me some kids took them all and ate them. so i know how you feel :(

one reason im very glad to live in the country now in a place where i know every child that lives on my street so if my produce comes up missing i can just go knocking and get some kid in trouble

actually a few nights ago two kids were skulking around my yard with a flashlight and were headed toward the rabbits to cause trouble i guess until the motion light came on then they very anxiously scuttled away. i briefly considered walking out with the shotgun and seeing how badly they rustled themselves.

Next time any of this happens, count how many fruit have appeared on a tree, calculate how much it cost to get the plant, and put up a sign that says "If you must have a fruit, please leave (115% of the cost of the plant) per fruit. Otherwise, leave my dang plants alone."
But that really ticks me off that kids would think that just because it's a plant it's a part of the earth, and the earth is open to everyone. It's like writing into wet cement that wasn't poured on your property.

Right, because kids who don't respect peoples' property are going to read a sign and follow the directions on it.

or, surround the plants with thorny bushes, heck dig a punji pit and let the little buggers try and your apples

Purge the world with nuclear fire.

No berries for anyone.

I think you've forgotten Tarberry and Berry Mentats, Exeres

Shockingly enough, I am alive

You could always put arsenic on the berries. That'll keep them away.