AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Catbread is noticing a lil extra dough around the everywhere so it's time to start paying attention to my diet again. I started watching my food more closely about a year ago and lost roughly 16 pounds, but then got slack about it-- and while I haven't gained that weight back, I also stopped losing weight.

Though I can do things like walking and swimming, I have physical disabilities that make many kinds of exercise impossible, dangerous or intolerably painful. I'm my younger brother's full-time caretaker, so if I go swimming, he needs to come with me, and if he comes with me, I can't swim laps. Walking doesn't do much in the calorie-burning department, and Isaac's pronounced autism makes prolonged outings hard on him. That said, we do walk and swim together! Just not regularly or vigorously enough for me to feel I can count it as exercise.

But! One thing I can do is plan my meals and diet, which is how I lost that 16 pounds I mentioned before. So, I thought I would share some of the meals I've had success with re: watching calorie totals and satisfying cravings. Eating has often been both a coping mechanism and a means of entertainment for me, and accordingly I try to make foods I can eat a LOT of without going overboard on calorie content.

Berry Smoothie or Daiquiri - roughly 300-350 calories, makes a lot. Will not fit in a Bullet; use a regular kitchen blender.
[*]1 cup frozen berries, any kind (I use the berries from the Dollar Tree, which are 12oz for a dollar, the cheapest anywhere)
[*]1 cup juice OR 1 cup total of alcohol to taste + juice (usually 120-150 calories)
[*]1.5 to 2 cups ice
[*]3 tablespoons frozen lemonade

Omelette - about 350 calories, provides 29g of protein also
[*]3 eggs
[*]1/2 cup sauteed mushrooms
[*]1 green onion stalk, chopped
[*]1/3 cup shredded cheese

Veggie Soup - throw all the raw veggies in together, add salt, pepper and herbs or spices to personal taste-- add enough water&bouillon or broth to cook the noodles in, bring to a boil and THEN add the noodles. If you add the noodles before the water boils they will be starchy and pasty! Less than 450 calories, makes a great deal of soup (as a single serving.)
[*]1 cup chopped carrot or baby carrot
[*]1 cup chopped zucchini
[*]1/2 cup sauteed mushrooms
[*]2 cups chopped celery
[*]1-2 stalks chopped green onion stalks
[*]1.5 cups wide egg noodles
[*]bouillon and water or broth

Tuna Sandwich - I want to find a replacement for this because tuna fishing is unsustainable and terrible for the environment, but for now this is what I've got. The recipe makes four servings; you can pack it down in a tupperware and "cut" it into four pieces, then make a sandwich with each "piece." ~270 calories or less per sandwich.
[*]2 cans chunk light tuna in water
[*]4-5 tablespoons mayonnaise
[*]1 large dill pickle, diced
[*]1-2 tablespoons sweet relish
[*]2 slices bread (Nature's Own butterbread is actually a tiny bit less caloric than white or wheat bread @ 60cal; most breads are 70cal a slice)

Couscous and Squash - Better than it sounds. It's savory and good. Less than 300 calories.
[*]1 cup cooked roasted garlic&olive oil couscous, cooked (each box makes 2 cups or so)
[*]1 cup sliced, grilled or sauteed yellow squash
[*]1 cup sliced, grilled or sauteed zucchini
[*]salt and pepper to taste

If you're eating tuna regularly, it might be better to move to a brand like Safe Catch. It's a bit more expensive but all the tuna is tested under stricter guidelines than what the EPA, it's safe to eat more often than the FDA recommendations for tuna consumption (which usually maxes at about a 6 oz can a week), and the processes they use to pack and cook the tuna results in higher omega-3 oil yields.

Otherwise, maybe think of investing in either some good quality canned chicken or maybe buy a bit of extra chicken breast each week to boil in water (makes homemade stock too!) and refrigerate the cooked chicken and cut up as needed for chicken salad. Olive oil mayo also helps a bit, half the calories usually and I find it's not as heavy in a meal without losing any taste (since the taste comes from the egg anyways).

Also, adding greens to a smoothie makes it easier to get more vitamins and nutrients into a meal without ruining the taste. You might need a good blender to cut through some heartier greens like kale though.

And something that could benefit everyone trying to lose weight: Frontload your calories in the day. Breakfast and lunch should be calorie rich meals, and dinner should generally include less carbs (but still include carbs in some manner) and more fiber from veggies, since you're about to sleep and thus don't need the energy stored. You should eat carbs for dinner if you've had a physically taxing day, or in preparation for one, it prevents cannibalization of protein that would otherwise be used for muscle growth and maintenance.

Meanwhile I really want to make about 5 gallons of butternut squash soup right now, but the squash isn't really fresh enough at this time of year to make good soup. daisies.

My god, thank you. After I got hired at the deli I work at now my weight has been slowly creeping past my comfort zone. I can't help it, every day I'm surrounded by delicious cold cuts...and cheese...and bacon...and pasta...and chips...and sandwiches...and fresh pizza...and brownies from the bakery...and sushi...and mochas from the coffee bar...


I digress.


I've been trying to watch what I eat more carefully but it's very hard to ignore a slice of pizza that is going to be thrown away because it's been on the hot plate too long. I've been trying to remedy this by not ordering a sandwich if I eat any pizza, but the results are. Slow.

I've been personally turning to lettuce wraps to avoid bread altogether. Put your sandwich filling or whatever you were going to put on the bread in a nice piece of romaine lettuce. Really nice with grilled chicken.

Been looking into a veggie spiralizer to start replacing the pasta I eat because that's my main vice, but it's still a bit out of my comfort zone, and I have two other picky people in the house to cook for.

Beware: if you ask for a lettuce wrap at a deli or sandwich shop, we will hate you


also we have spinach tortillas for wraps already and they are much better than a few fuckin romaine leaves




also using vegetables as a replacement for pasta just sounds absurdly disappointing. You can reduce your carbs without eliminating them entirely

I stood behind someone a few weeks ago at a sandwich shop ordering a salad and custom ordering a salad dressing out of various spreads. It took 15 minutes before he was satisfied enough to leave. I hope that's evidence enough for places to say "fuck no" to these special orders.

Have yet to try the spinach wraps, but prices are keeping me away from places lately with how expensive shit is getting with the quality going down. I prefer making my own food anyways, especially with veggies.

Also we've had a lot of bad luck recently with getting our orders wrong just about anywhere we go that isn't a sit down restaurant (though mom and my sis-in-law have taken up that bad luck). We don't even order off-menu, it's just stuff like getting a burger when ordering a chicken sandwich, and getting overcharged because of it, it's distressing more than upsetting because of having to be the person to hold up everyone trying to sort it out.

Also I'd be replacing pasta for a few meals or supplementing it with veggie pasta. Currently we're eating pasta (including lunch leftovers) about 3-5 times a week in pretty calorie heavy meals. Finding a replacement for a couple of them that doesn't affect the taste (which most veggie pasta is indistinguishable if done well) would be good for offsetting calories and late day carbs.

Plus veggie mac and cheese is good.

Since I'm living with my parents again I get to graze off their leftovers and occasionally eat meals with them (my schedule rarely allows for me to be home at dinnertime).


I just really don't have the energy or the drive to cook when I get home late at night--and I never feel like cooking much in the morning aside from the odd frozen french fries or potstickers. Makes eating healthy at home really hard. At least the sandwiches at my deli have VEGETABLES on them. Most I usually find at home is baby carrots. Parents usually eat all the dinner vegetables without leaving any leftovers and I never feel justified opening an entire thing of green beans or peas just for myself. I'll gladly eat every strawberry in a package though.

Maybe being around food all day at work has put me off of being around it at home. All I ever really crave is meat and sweets.

I've done veggie pasta replacement before! It's actually pretty good imo. My mom picked up one of the "Vegetti" things from walmart a while back, and I've tried it with both yellow squash and zucchini. I'm still experimenting with ways to prep the spiraled squash, but last time I gave it a shot, I cooked the spiraled squash in a pan with the sauce and it wasn't bad.

I never thought of using a broad lettuce leaf, or maybe even cabbage, as a wrap, but that's a good idea. I eyeball the nutrients I take in but my main focus is on sticking to a calorie goal. Fortunately my eating habits naturally tend to line up with about what I should be eating anyway-- eggs, nuts, seeds and mushrooms, berries, cheese, vegetables, etc. I also have some dark chocolate I've been snacking on because it's sweet but I don't usually want more after a few bites. I wonder if I can work out some way to make a less calorie-heavy cabbage roll? Maybe with lean beef and less rice? I'll look into it.

Yo so I want to eat more vegetables, but any time I get salad or something for lunch it goes all limp and gross in a few hours. Plus even if I keep it in the fridge it only stays fresh for like, a day tops. Stupid lettuce.

What are some good veggies to eat that actually keep for a while, so I don't have to go to the store like every day just to get fresh veggies? I like carrots but I can't think of what else to try incorporating into my lunches.

I like getting frozen veggies for when I make dinner but I can't exactly put those in my lunchbox, ya know?

Cabbage is far more durable than lettuce as a salad base (and requires less dressing, due to delightful mild sweetness), and has mostly the same nutrient content. Broccoli/cauliflower are given as durables. Olives and mushrooms (while technically a fruit and fungus respectively) are solid choices if you don't hate them. If you keep some sliced cucumbers in cold water, they stay quite crisp for the 4-5 hours you would have between removing the lunch from the fridge and eating it at school.

I'll have to think of more easy vegetables later.

Have you considered doing bodyweight exercises at home? You'd be able to keep an eye on your brother in the meanwhile. Here's some exercises for reference.

You've probably already done this, but for any one else if you want to start counting calories you should figure out your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expedenture). You can use this tool to get an estimate.

There's a possibility I could do some of those, but I have scoliosis and my hands and wrists can't bear weight. I've finally gotten to a point through rest and therapy where I can carry groceries or open windows again, but even putting weight on my wrists and hands to get up from the floor sometimes ends up causing me injury. I do have an elliptical I sometimes use.

Also, re: salad, you could try keeping a whole head of lettuce, or suck the air out of the bags before you close them to prolong it.

I've thought about it on and off for a long time now, and I think I'm going to start drinking diet sodas. I know water would be best but I would go insane without some kind of flavor. With the sheer volume of Mountain Dew I go through per day, this should make some kind of difference. Also, I'll try to just order less whenever I eat out, which is too often.

Might I recommend getting flavored water, or water flavoring drops, if you can't tolerate plain water?



(but also I loooove plain and pure ice-cold water, it's so refreshing like I'm drinking out of a goddamn himalayan stream)

I've always thought that water had a mild, but somewhat perceptible flavor (or texture that masquerades as a flavor), but maybe that's because I grew up on well water that had enough non-sulfuric mineral content to actually have some sort of non-offensive flavor.
Of course, my sister and I weren't really allowed to get accustomed to frequent soda anyway, because my ma always hoarded it and didn't buy juice because "it's just colored sugar water".

Also, oh gosh, Wry, I cannot imagine the frustration of being so injury-prone in certain areas that many exercises/tasks become almost impossible. I hope you are able to build up strength relatively quickly!