AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Come home to the pleasant surprise that my roommate finally fucking did the dishes (after she and her boyfriend had bodaciously used every dish in the house except the setting I'd hoarded in my room so that I would actually be able to eat). bodaciously nothing else was done, but at least the dishwasher had been loaded and run.

WHOOPS JUST KIDDING SHE DID THAT WRONG TOO, SO I ENDED UP HAVING TO REDO IT ALL. BECAUSE APPARENTLY BASIC LITERACY AND SPATIAL REASONING ARE SO BEYOND HER KEN.

How do you screw up loading the dishwasher?

Regular dish soap instead of dishwasher soap?

she's too lazy to move things or run more than one load, so she just tosses every single crusty dish she possibly can into it so that nothing actually gets clean because there isn't enough water flow, and also things and up sitting on top of other things where lighter items (like drinking glasses) get tossed around by the water pressure that does make it around, and consequently, broken.
Also, she just doesn't fucking think. I usually have to re-put everything away, too, because half my kitchen is suddenly in the wrong spot.

My brother's ex wife put Dawn in one once. Suds everywhere.

I know the feeling, though. If anyone else does the dishes, I get bitched at. And everyone tries to load it as full as possible, no matter how many times I tell them not to do that, as they won't get clean.

And it also seems that I am the only person who has the presence of mind to actually LOOK at the dishes as I put them away, because I keep finding dishes that have food particles or soap residue all over them.

I am very familiar with this.

I keep my own dishes and wash them every time I'm done with them. I leave everyone else to deal with their own messes because I gave up on it forever ago.



There's no reason the kitchen sink needs to be filled with coffee filters.

Don't forget fast food bags with food still in them and styrofoam cups. Or paper plates, Solo cups, plastic eating utensils, and paper towels.

My alarm is set for five hours from now, and I still can't sleep. This is a problem because I drive for around six hours a day. And it gets boring to the point that I have to scream like a loon because I'm trying to keep myself awake.

So either I have to call in on payday, or buy an energy drink that's gonna make me feel sick and give me an elevated heart rate when I'm sitting still.

I don't need this crap. I might call, tell them what happened, and ask if I should make the attempt to work.

Thankfully, the paycheck, plus what I still have of the last one, will cover my next car payment, and I'll have another two paychecks before the insurance payment comes out, and another one after that before the next phone payment.

EDIT: Yep. Still awake, and now I'm feeling sick. Probably dehydrated, too, because I'm losing more fluids than I'm drinking (haven't been drinking anything all night). Not a good idea to try driving for six hours in heavy traffic while I'm in this condition. I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel.

So, I woke up. Went to the kitchen to magic some breakfast together.

Looked next to the sink. Orange stain on the counter the exact size and shape of a slice of pizza (in a spot that you have to go out of your way to reach since it is in the corner of the wall behind kitchen things).

Brother didn't do it. I didn't think he did because he's smarter and more aware than me.


Mom. Stop luring ants into the house. Please.

bodaciously what. I get lazy because I have to hand wash dishes, but dish washers make everything so simple. How can a person be this lazy???

I suck at washing dishes. It's one of my chores, and while I'm doing them, they look clean but then later I'll grab a plate and notice I missed a spot and reclean it. Kinda annoying.

there's this one key to the parcel box that is absolute shit and i cringe every time i get a package in box one because idk if i got the shitty key or not

well today i did and unfortunately the package in question contains 5 dead animal heads that......kinda smell not great

Eeeeewwwwwww! Gross! I can't stand the smell of rot or fermentation.

Which reminds me...

Remember how I'd been helping my brother and his father in law with trapping some hogs? Our bait of choice is soured corn. To make it, you mix corn with water, sugar, and I think some yeast, but I'm not completely sure. I wasn't there when the mix was made.

You know how wet garbage tends to smell? Especially when it's at that point where you know that when you remove the bag from the container, there's gonna be some daisies big maggots all over the place?

That's what it smells like, and the supply has gotten so low that we have to bend over and stick our heads into the old trash can to scoop the corn out to put into our buckets. Repeatedly.

Oh, and we had to repair and reinforce the trap, because a fucking BEAR has been playing with it.

I oughta pop this bear right square in the booty with a shotgun loaded with rock salt.

I dun wanna go to a stupid work meeting at 9pm that is 90% brought on by one coworker being a domineering bitch who bullies the other girls.

I was tr- I was try- I was trying to help put stuff up in the- the kitchen, and I was putting things away, and I d-d-dropped things and spilled stuff and everything explooodeeeed.

Why does the universe haaaaaate meeeeeeee?!

[hastily scribbled image of Airra whining in the corner]

Quick! Someone find a radioactive Stretch Armstrong doll and, uh... Whatever is needed to be done, so one of us can stretch their arms far enough to give Airra a hug!